Defeating Boredom at Office

This morning I got a call from my colleague. At the other end of the line, she said in frustration, “My work is a drag; I’m deadly bored. Help me, please!” Well, actually I wanted to say, “Yeah, tell me about it! We’re on the same boat! Welcome to the club!” hahhahahhahahah… But the words stayed in my mouth, sealed and safely securedJ. I knew it would worsen her days if I said so. Being a good friend, I lent some words of comforts. “C’mon, get up and make plans. Do something spontaneous to kill your boredom. Go out to lunch somewhere outside your work area, get a manicure, you’re your camera and take some shots, go to rooftop and scream it aloud, go home on time today or just read a good book. YOU create your day!” “I read novels to kill my boredom.” I said enthusiastically, hoping to infect her with my jollyJ. I further said “If you want a perfect ending, you would never find it. Even the best poems don’t rhyme, and many great stories don’t have a perfect happy ending. Life is about not knowing, fighting through some bad days to earn the best days of your life, and taking a moment and making the best of it without knowing what’s going to happen next. Don’t let boredom defeats you.” In short, I composed some wonderful speech I used to read to cheer her up :-) (ehm…though I’m still struggling hard to apply this wisdom, lol).

To be honest, doing the same things the same way daily, one day identical to the next tends to leave you feeling unhappy, and discontent. It becomes routines as every day is the same thing; the same people, the same walls, the same colors, the same paperwork, the same uproars, the same ‘confinement’ at your desk as if you are glued to your chair for eternity, lol. Our days become dull because we no longer have to think about it–it’s set on autopilot. You simply do your work because that’s part of your routine. Our days become predictable, leaving no room to grow. We lose the challenge and the adrenalin especially when the company doesn’t offer any possibilities for growth and improvement. The feeling of having no opportunity for improvement and that you’re completely stuck in a rut helplessly can be very overwhelming sometimes. Often, an increased boredom affects the employee’s creativity and work performance. Absenteeism, increased tardiness, job dissatisfaction and apathetic mood are some warning signs for employees who get infected by such virus called ‘boredom’. It is one of the common problems faced by employees today. If it is not addressed properly, it might lead to lower job production. So, if one of your colleagues shows such signs, beware and try to give him/her support and encouragement :-).

Well, as I have said to my friend “Let’s face it! Sometimes, we don’t always get what we want. You have to accept that some things will never be yours, and learn to appreciate the things that are only yours. Sometimes, we think life in office is so unfair. But we shape OUR DAY! So, get up and make sunshine of our day!” Say goodbye to so many ‘whys’ in our head, “Why am I here?” How long am I going to slog it out out this way?” Don’t wait for the Management to make a move when you feel like having a Caramel Macchiato or Iced Apple Mojito Tea or a cup of hot ‘teh tarik’. You have to move and do it yourself! Don’t expect your Management to set things right for you. You have to make your own sunshine at office, things that keep you passionate and engaged :-)! In times of great stress, keeps in your mind that it’s always wise to keep busy, to cultivate your anger and frustration into something positive. Have fun at your work, it is our birth right to have fun :-)! Do things that keep you alive; blogging, read jokes to make you laugh; nail some pictures at your cubicles, drawing some cartoons of your annoying boss or colleagues, writing your novel, or you can always have a good conversation, a good read, a good walk, a good hug, a good smile, or a good friend. A workplace needs not be a boring, dull place :-). There are many ways to make your life ‘creamy’ and amusing :-).

Speak up Your Mind without Offending

http://www.thejakartapost.com/news/2012/03/19/imo-view-speak-your-mind-without-offending.html


Like any other regular work days, my day starts with fighting my way through overcrowded commuter lines. Sometimes, I am lucky enough to secure a tiny spot to sit in the eight passengers seats. Often and mostly, I am not that lucky and have to stand all the way to Sudirman train station, crammed and jammed along with other passengers. This morning, however, the train was not too overcrowded. Some were still able to sit in their portable chairs at the floorboard which occasionally invited flashing anger from those who felt obstructed getting into the train because some people were just too ignorant sitting right in front of the door, lol. As usual, I wanted nothing more than doing something to relax awhile, something that stir the mind without provoking storms and unrest such as enjoying my novel. Anyway, as I was immersed at my reading, I heard growing commotion of bantering and bickering. It stole my attention. The increasing mayhem became louder and all eyes stared at the two middle aged ladies who sat side by side right in front of my standing spot. I decided to eavesdrop what’s all the fuss about but absolutely did not plan to butt into the heating conversation uninvited. I just wanted to be a silent observer (lol). Who knows I might learn one or two lessons from it. And this is what I grasp to understand “To speak up your mind effectively, you need to do it the right way.”




It's difficult to warn people without offending them even though we have already use any possible polite manners and tone. It happened that both ladies were having their light breakfast on train. The lady in a cropped black hair was having “nasi uduk”; savoring its delight with her bare fingers (this image annoyed me first time I laid my eyes on the lady. I mean c’mon, eating with your bare fingers without any water around to wash up. Well, it’s the thing I would not do except in an emergency situation). She was about in her late fifties with friendly look, smiling and comely in her thick make up. Apparently, nobody cared about this strangeness. Everyone was just milling around with their own activities, chattering around, reading papers, etc. Nobody but the lady with the headscarf next to her who seemed annoyed with the leftover rice spilled over. Perhaps, I might feel the same if I sat next a person who spilled rice all over, lol. She was at the same age perhaps. She had some fried banana for her breakfast, neatly stashed in Tupperware. In contrast with the first lady, her face was stern, sour, unsmiling, and simply unfriendly. Her dislike was intensifying when her neighbor dumped the garbage on the floor carelessly. Annoyed and disturbed, she wanted to advise her to keep the trash with her, and dumped it into the bin once she got off the train. She meant good but the way she uttered her words and the expression on her face just shattered all the good intended. Her words were just rude, as if giving order to her own son to correct the mistake, unsmiling and so rigid with emotional tone. Instead of obtaining positive responses, she got the same rude words and opposite effect. She expressed her objection with offending remark, tone and expression. As a result, all she got was negative responses and landed herself in a heated argument. They both still exchanged snicker and bickering before the lady in the headscarf got off, still yelling at each other, lol. I was just relieved they did not claw on each other.



I believe when someone wants to say that he/she feels annoyed and irritated by others, he/she should express his/her disapproval in the right way, avoiding offending and offensive words. He/she must know how to speak up his/her mind without offending the intended person at the same time. He/she has to get prepared that he/she will sometimes ruffle the feathers of others when speaking their mind, and thus there will always be people who do not agree with them or even go as far as arguing and debating. Our world is full of non-altruistic humans who think first and foremost of themselves. It’s rarely to find people who care what others might feel and just storm out with emotional flares without thinking. It is definitely a bad idea to speak your mind without taking the time "to think before you speak”. How often we see that words cut deeper than any sword. Once the words come out of your mouth, there is no way to take them back in. Once the words are unleashed without control, the damage may be done, even after you try to rectify the mistake by apologizing. So, it is wise to choose your words carefully before you let them out.



Therefore, the best way to speak up your mind effectively is to think carefully about what you say. You can make your points across without being rude in the process. In most cases, when you are blatantly rude when giving warning or advice, your words will simply "go in one ear and come out the other." While people will hear you, they will not listen with attention, or if they do, they will only hear the negative things that you said and turn into violence and resentment instead. So, when you speak, you have to properly control the tone of your voice. If someone is doing something that angers you, you have to tell them that you don’t like their deeds in a calm manner. Your face should also correspond to your voice tone because your tone of voice and visage communicate a lot. If they convey anger or similar emotions, your words will only hurt others or push them away. Your goal should be to maintain a calm demeanor and tone of voice at all times. By doing so, we can explain ourselves to others in a way that is not offensive and in return will get positive responses.



As I get off the train this morning, I can't help thinking of such similar incidents at office. Often, in office, such commotion takes place simply because people tend to use rude language or put a facial language that does not correspond to their intended meaning in expressing their mind. When we do not use the 'same language' in trying to solve a problem, then it will only end in chaos :-). It is important to keep in our mind that in any discussions, you must wear armors of strategies to enable you talking of anything without offending, hurting, or angering the person with whom you’re speaking with.

An Augury of Life

To see a world evolve in seasonal change,

Summer brings warmth as fire

Winter brings coldness as ice

Autumn brings colors as hope

Spring brings change as new life,






Joy is the undesirable companion of woe,

Sadness is the silent friend of pleasure,

Vice is the uninvited attendant of virtue,

Every grief and pine has a silken twine,

Such is what the soul require as attire

A Feast for Crows

A Feast for Crows is the fourth book in George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series. Unlike its predecessor, A Storm of Swords (which absolutely keeps me in great suspense and thrill and craves for more) is in a very different tone; its pace is a bit more leisurely and it is wearisome sometimes because Martin develops too many new points of views which makes the book can’t stand independently. The three fan-favorite characters are cut from Feast completely — Jon Snow, Tyrion Lannister and Daenerys Targaryen. It frustrates me as well to find the absence of Bran and his little band in their perilous adventure to find the three eyed crow. Queen Cersei is the star in Feast; she gets all the best scenes. The readers see more of her, and get a picture on how she struggles amidst the cruel male dominated courts. Yet, unlike her twin brother, Jaime, the more I get to know her, the less I have sympathy for her. She becomes a cruel and bitter tyrant, paranoid of everyone around her. Her ambition and fears have blinded her. The many new characters having loose connection to the main story is quite frustrating, giving a head a spin. It’s really disappointing to read the book to the end despite the fact Martin’s skills in constructing plots and crating the words. It is solely the urge not to miss the link to its fifth book that keeps me going, although I skip some pages, lol.




Feast takes up the story immediately after the events of the third volume in the series. It focuses on events in and around King’s Landing, on the Iron Islands, and down in Dorne. Readers will not see much of the bloody and violent action of previous volumes in Feast. Further, Feast focuses on the women of Westeros (Cersei Lannister, Asha Greyjoy, Arianne Martell and her cousins, Brienne of Tarth, Arya and Sansa) in their struggle to attain and maintain power or just to survive in the primarily misogynistic medieval society they live in. In the aftermath of Lord Tywin’s death (ignominiously slain by his own son, Tyrion the Imp), Cersei Lannister has pulled herself together and was ever more determined to rule King's Landing as Queen Regent until her youngest son Tommen came of age. She ruled with an iron fist, distrusted people around her, including Jaime and her Uncle. From her point of view, readers could finally see how her evil ambitions rooted from her childhood hurts. She would seize and maintain power at any cost. From the presumed safety of the Red Keep, she plotted to get rid of the unsubtle machinations of the ambitious Tyrells, starting from the young queen, Margaery Tyrell whom King Tommen wed to seal the alliance of the two Houses. She was also obsessed with finding her fugitive brother, Tyrion, who had slain their father and was accused of killing Joffrey. Blinded by her rage, fear and ambition, Cersei devised a scheme to drive off Jaime away, a decision she regretted later on.

Meanwhile, Stannis Baratheon has installed himself at the Wall in the far north. He claimed as the rightful king of Westeros and planned to gather support from the Northmen (the Stark’s banner men) to seize the Iron Throne. Melissandre, the red woman declared Stannis savior of the realm from evils lurking beyond the Wall called the Others as had been foretold in the old prophecy. They held Mance Rayder a captive along with his sister in law and baby son. Melissandre planned to sacrifice him to the fire, R’Lor, because every ritual needed kingship blood. Jon Snow, now Lord Commander of the Night's Watch, sent Maester Aemon and Mance’s baby son to save them from the fire because both had royal blood. It was a perilous journey by seas accompanied by Sam and Gilly. Upon his approaching death, Master Aemon learnt that his niece, Danny, survived and hatched three dragons. He begged Sam to bring Danny to Westeros as their rightful queen. She was the savior foretold by the old prophecy, the queen with three dragon heads who would heal the bleeding Westeros, and not Stannis.



Off on the bleak and craggy Iron Islands, the fanatical Greyjoys were deciding upon their new king when Balon Grejoy died due to terrible accident. They desired nothing less than to renew their rebellion and conquer Westeros. Asha Greyjoy, was King Balon’s favourite daughter. She was a fierce warrior who aspired for the throne because no one seemed to confirm whether her brother and Balon's rightful heir, Theon Greyjoy (the ward of Lord Edard Stark) was dead or alive. Yet, women were never made queen in Iron Islands. Balon's two brothers were in a battle for her father's crown. She was ever more determined to seize the throne at any cost, and thwarted any who stood on her way.



Far to the south in Dorne, the ailing Prince Doran Martell found himself alone in his allegiance to the Lannister in the Iron Throne. The rest of his family and subjects demanded war in revenge for the death of their beloved Prince Oberyn. Arianne Martell, his beloved daughter, turned against him and planned to install Princess Myrcella (sister of King Tommen) to claim the Iron Throne. During their escape, Myrcella was severely wounded and Arianne was captured. Prince Doran Martell imprisoned her along wih her cousins, bastard daughters (the sand snakes) of Prince Oberyn. The ailing prince had a secret of his own. He sent his long exiled son to find the lost dragon princess.

Meanwhile Brienne, the rough-hewn warrior woman who was good-natured, loyal and brave was on a quest to find Sansa Stark. Both Brienne and Jaime assumed Sansa was the only living Stark alive. She had everything to embark on the quest but a plan. Her large frame and un-womanly looks have kept her out of the traditional world of women of her time that made her constantly rebuked and humiliated. In addition, the attitudes of the men prevented her from being taken seriously as a woman knight that made her ‘unfit’ to any society she lived in. Renly Baratheon was the only man who ever showed her courtesy. She was in love with him, and swore the oath to serve and protect him. She failed. Thus, she was determined not to fail Jaime and Lady Stark this time. Yet, it’s so strange to see her wandering aimlessly to about the center of the map and being constantly set upon by men, only to die at the hand of the Stoneheart (the resurrected Catelyn Stark). She got lots of portions in the book but Martin just killed her by hanging (or will we ever see her again in the next series just like Catelyn and Theon?). It’s a bit unsettling.



Sansa herself was still holed up at the Eyrie, in disguise of Lord Petyr Baelish’s bastard daughter. She was still a docile and submissive frightened pawn used by Little Finger to gain power. Sansa's lone wolf sister, Arya (who believes all her family was dead but for Jon Snow), has sailed across the sea to the exotic city of Braavos, where a new life and uncertain destiny awaited. Slowly, she was forced to abandon herself as the wolf girl. She was a lost wolf without her pack, scrabbling and fighting her way through the world, trying to survive. In the end, she was poisoned and became blind.

To my dismay, the book offered no answers to mystery in previous series as if left me standing in the dark. One thing is certain: power is a feeble fleeting thing one can posses as has been perfectly expressed by Shakespeare "Uneasy rests the head that wears the crown." (Henry IV, Part II.) Those who have a lot of power and prestige also have a lot of responsibilities, and therefore worry more than other people. Yet, power always tempted men to seek after it at any cost. Men fight and kill for power in this novel. Kings and Queens alike fight for the throne to rule and punish instead of to protect and serve the citizens. Many want to obtain power, yet only few who deserve such a burden. And in the end, a crow will feast upon kings and beggars alike.