Friday, November 23, 2012

My Dad's Secret Treasure

http://www.thejakartapost.com/news/2012/12/03/imo-view-my-dad-s-secret-treasure.html

I stood on tiptoe to reach the top of the old cabinet. My curiosity built up. Was it a brand new pair of shoes, a bag, or a toy? My heart raced just trying to figure it out. I was determined to unlock the mystery. Cautiously, I scanned my surrounding and looked to my right and left. Slowly, I tried to open its door. It would not budge. The effort made me lose my balance, and knock my head on the side of the cabinet. I gulped in pain. As I regained my bearing, my dad stood next to me. His dark eyes imprisoned me. For a brief moment, I was frozen. Panic mixed with guilt seized me.




Then, with a suppressed smile my dad said, “Once you learn how to read, you can open up the treasure!”

He lightly brushed my head, patted my cheek, then added, “Reading can take you to a world of wonder.”



Following my enrollment in elementary school, I studied hard. I was determined to meet the challenge. It was essential to read to acquire an access to the secret treasure. Along the way, I discovered the wonder of letters. Combined, they formed words, sentences, and then meaning. By the end of my first grade, I could read and write. Still, I needed lots of learning to improve my skill. Nevertheless, I was very excited. It meant the day of revelation got closer. I couldn’t wait to see my dad on that very day.



Arriving home, I was so anxious. It was 11.30 a.m, and my mum has just arrived from her work as street vendor. She brought a lunch package for me. Pacing back and forth, I refused to eat. My mum gave me a puckered brow, and silently went to kitchen for cooking. My dad usually finished teaching by 1 p.m. It took half an hour with his old bicycle to reach home. The waiting was excruciating. I kept rereading my Bahasa Indonesia lesson book. In between, I ran some errands for my mum. Still, the clock ticked too slowly. By the time my dad arrived, I was exhausted. I fell asleep on our only bench on the veranda.



It was the following night that I finally learnt the secret. With oil lamps lighting up our small living room, my dad unlocked the top drawer of his old cabinet. My heart skipped a beat as the old wood creaked. A faint light seeped through, and to my amazement, I saw rows of books stashed neatly. I looked at him with a perplexed expression.



A soft smile spread on his face when he said, “This is my treasure, love!”

He lifted me up so I could read the title. “Pick one you like dear!”

I scanned the books, and I pulled “Si Jamin dan Si Johan.”



The book was about the bitter struggle of two brothers, Jamin and Johan, in the hands of their step mother along with drunkard father. From that day onward, my love for reading grew steadily. Books are the window to the world, my father would tell me. And he was right.



Sunday, November 18, 2012

How You Do Your Job Defines Who You Are

http://www2.thejakartapost.com/news/2012/12/31/imo-view-defining-who-you-are.html

“Every job is a self portrait of the person who does it, autograph your work in excellence.”

One thing we keep repeating saying to ourselves while at work is “do your best” to maintain our spirit. Regardless of the job we have, we are required to put our best efforts in carrying out our duties. Whether we are having blue collar job as office boy, cleaning officer, washing dishes at local restaurant, pushing shopping carts in off the lot of the local super-market or white collar job as managers, consultants, or lawyers, we should keep in mind that people don’t judge you by what work you do. Rather, they will observe how you do the work. They are looking to see if you value what you do. If you autograph your work with excellence, they would certainly pay you respect. Conversely, if you disrespect what you do, people will treat you the same way.

Yet, we often face a dilemma in sticking to that principle while the environment aren't supportive. We have been doing a good job, yet we are underpaid. It’s frustrating to know that no matter how well you perform, the salary system in the company will never allow you to have better income or facility compared to your colleagues having lower grade and risk. You are feeling too furious sometimes that you wanna throw a chair or just play truant at your work...or you feel compelled to hit somebody you thought responsible for your fate, lol.


To make matter worse, you never hear from the boss one way or another on this basic issue of your security. You will be tempted to eventually slow down as you never feel appreciated. You work nail to toe, yet you don’t feel happy. You don’t like working in a vacuum. After all, feeling appreciated is a fundamental human need.


Frustrated and irritated can lead into resentment, thus lowering the workplace morale or lower the general work standard. This is your biggest challenge to keep your morale high despite the discouraging situation. This will be the test of your character reflected on how you keep doing your job.


It's hard to do, beleive me, I know how that feels :-). The easiest trick is just do your best while keep chanelling your anger into positive activities. Don't ever give up hope. Keep seeking an opportunity to put your argument forward on how you feel being mistreated. When you've done your share, but the system still doesn't respond, then you just wait. The outcome does not mattter since you've done your best already :-). Afterall, the job is your bread and butter. Make a compromise without negating your basic principle :-).



Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Piggy Bank for Dream

http://www.thejakartapost.com/news/2012/11/19/imo-view-piggy-bank-a-dream.html

The memorable moment I treasure most is when I saw the look in my mother’s eyes upon her return from the holy land, Mecca. Her eyes beamed with joy, and her smile radiated warmth, a sunray through the clouds. She hugged me close, kissed my cheeks, and wrapped me in her affectionate embrace. Tears gently trickled down her face. She wiped them off, and softly said “These are happy tears. My dream came true at last.”


I looked at her tenderly and struggled with my tears, till the agony of unspoken words burst my essence and I trembled. “We miss you dearly.” I smiled. “The piggy bank has served its duty well.” Hearing this, my mother beamed with smile. We laughed at our secret smile and walked to the door.

I remember since I was a kid my mother has always kept ‘celengan’ or the clay-made piggy bank. One day, as my mother put small money in it, I asked “Mum, why do you put money in there?” She ruffled my cropped short hair, and smiled. “Well, it is for my dream.” I asked further, “What is your dream?” My mother looked deeply at my eyes with such profundity and replied whimsically “Going to Holy Land!” Henceforth, my mother always worked so hard and saved small portion of her money whenever she could.

She taught me how important it was to save. We didn’t always have the money to buy things, or we didn’t always know our spending needs in the future. That’s why we have our savings. Money doesn’t grow in trees, she would tell me. We have to work hard to earn it. Handle money with respect, never squander it.

Having three children with an elementary school teacher as the sole breadwinner, we have led a hand-to-mouth life. It was a decision by necessity when my mother finally decided to help. She worked nail to toe to ensure her children finishing their education for better future. Often, I would wake up in the middle of the night to find her working her stuff she was selling. She sold traditional home appliances, cooking herbs, children toys to chicken meat depending on the market situation. Selling in the streets was about the only option available due to her limited education. For this reason, she never had the luxury to sit by her children, helping them study or just tell stories because by the time she got home, she had to do her housework chores before collapsing to bed.

On so many occasions, my mother with all her heart postponed her own dream for her family. When my siblings and I finished school and enrolled for college, she emptied her savings for us. She broke her ‘celengan’ again when my father decided to continue his study. She even encouraged my father to go for Hajj when we had enough money.

At last, after decades of dreaming, my mother finally set foot on Mecca in Saudi Arabia along with more than two millions other pilgrims this year. Her relentless hard work paid off. Nevertheless, such hard work has also taken its toll on her health. Now at 64, my mother looked physically frail, but mentally competent. Her face was lined with wrinkles and her once long raven black hair faded to silvery gray.

She might be simple and uneducated, but her ways never stop to amaze us. And when the moment came, it was extraordinary. The feeling of seeing such serenity and joy in my mother’s face was priceless. She is the hero in my life.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Should Indonesia Legalize Same Sex Marriage?

http://www.thejakartapost.com/news/2012/11/26/imo-view-should-ri-legalize-same-sex-marriage.html

Last two week, I read the headline of a new survey by The Indonesian Survey Circle (LSI) that uncovered the growing intolerance of minorities with the highest level of hostility directed towards the gay and lesbian community. The survey disclosed that 80.6 percent of its sample population objected to having gays or lesbians as neighbor, jumping significantly from 64.7 percent in 2005. It further showed the increasing homophobia, saying that the respondents who were mostly male, having low-income and limited education chose to live next door to followers of deviants sects like Shi’ism and Ahamdiyah, than with gays and lesbians. To be honest, I was torn with a dilemma. For me personally, I tolerate and acknowledge the existence of gays and lesbians. I used to have gays neighbors back in my hometown, and a gay classmate during high school. We got along fine as both parties respected our own private affairs, not stepping on each other’s edge. I respect their choice of life but I don’t justify or rationalize their way of life. Yet, if asked further, I would go as far to say I don’t accept gay marriage being legalized in Indonesia the way some countries have accommodated gays rights movement such as United States, Canada, etc.


In spite of this, I strongly disagree with aggression and hostility directed towards them in their pursuance of happiness and economic advancement. Violence never offers a solution whatsoever but gross human violation and conflict. As human beings, gays are also entitled to basic human rights such as the right to live, have a job, and have the chance to get elected as a member of any union or council in Indonesia. Nevertheless, if the election has been conducted in a free, fair and transparent manner, and the result doesn’t favor them, they should not jump into a conclusion that their defeat resulted from intolerance and discrimination. As a member of the larger society, they have the duty to respect and abide the existing norms, rules and regulation. They can’t force the society as a whole to accept their sexual preference. If they don’t get elected, it means the majority of people disagree with their choice of life. Further, I find it hard to accept gays marriage be legalized in any legal system in Indonesia as it is against the religious teachings and standard norms and values. For my part, I don’t justify and be in agreement because once we leave our religious standards and teachings, anything can be accepted. These systems of belief and credo have set as human moral barriers to guarantees the existence of our race. If violated, there will no logical basis upon which we can exclude other forms of sexual deviancy from the category of marriage. It is only a matter of time before the world will finally see marrying siblings, minors (intergenerational love) or polyandry referring to a form of marriage in which a woman takes two or more husbands at the same time as normal.

In this respect, we can extract valuable lessons from the most revered democratic country in the world, the United States. One of the biggest social issue taking place in the United States since 1924 is the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) rights movement since the establishment of the country’s first gay organization, Society for Human Rights in Chicago. Over the years, such movement has been endeavoring gays to be treated as equals, free from discrimination and marginalization from mainstream society. They go as far as seeking marriage rights. On the whole, the United States has been more receptive to this movement than many other countries, the same way the country has embraced sexual liberation including increased acceptance of sex outside of traditional heterosexual, monogamous relationships (primarily marriage) as part of the “sexual revolution" that has been used at least since the late 1910.

In such a way, the country's attitudes towards gay rights have evolved. The movement is able to deconstruct the common cultural concept of queer people as deviant or abnormal into a much more sympathetic image, a shifting paradigm from negative stigma to a more positive one. Popular culture and its shaper, the mass media, have played a crucial role in in the process of shaping gay cultures. The gay people were used to be portrayed as queer and psychologically fragile and so forth. But, lately the media have began to present gay people more favorably as creative, intelligent, talented, the way heterosexual people do. The sympathetic portrayal of gay and lesbian characters in prime time such as Glee, Greek, Grey’s Anatomy, Law & Order: SVU and films such as Philadelphia and so forth have changed the society’s attitude towards gays. So far, six states -- Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, New Hampshire and New York -- and the District of Columbia in the United States have legalized marriage rights for gays and lesbians. Recently, gay rights is now a major political issue in the US. The issue of same-sex marriage has pivoted into a dramatic shift of change in Obama administration who had confirmed the president's support for legislation that prevents the federal government from denying same-sex couples the same protections received by their straight counterparts. This issue has become political as it is used to garner support for the LGBT community as well as a group supporting the right of gays to marry.

Nonetheless, such shift in the society has backfired when pedophiles have begun to seek similar status arguing their desire for children is a sexual orientation no different than heterosexual or homosexuals. They are using the same tactics used by gay rights activists, appealing the empathy and sympathy from people, deconstructing the ideas of what people used to perceive as ‘normal’. In July, 2010 Harvard health Publications said that Pedophilia is a sexual orientation and unlikely to change. Two psychologists in Canada, Van Gijseghem, psychologist and retired professor of the University of Montreal, and Dr. Quinsey, professor emeritus of psychology at Queen’s University in Kingston, Ontario declared that pedophilia is a sexual orientation just like homosexuality or heterosexuality. I am at a loss in this statement. Each group seems to justify their private choice. There is no longer a logical basis upon which we can exclude other forms of sexual deviancy from the category of marriage. Certainly, gay advocates perceive this as an offence, insisting it’s not the same case. Yet, psychiatrists are now beginning to advocate redefining pedophilia in the same way homosexuality was redefined several years ago. It is only a matter of time, before other forms of sexual revolution demands such rights.



Given the serious consequences if a nation legalizes gays marriage, I am strongly oppose to the idea. We would create such a social catastrophe if we ever endorse the initiative. I question again is Indonesia willing to risk to get embittered by such issue? I strongly oppose to violence directed to minority groups. Gay or not, minor or major, all citizens should be treated equal, free from discrimination. Yet, the most vital question is what kind of society do we want to live in? What kind of society do we want to raise our children in? If I was asked, I would say that I want to live and raise my children in a society where the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman in safeguarded and revered as the laws of the Divine. So, I don't approve or accept homosexuality as right, but I tolerate its existence.

After all, man is morally good and has the power to triumph over evil temptation. “What makes a man a man? It’s the choices he makes! Not how he starts things but how he finishes them” (Hellboy, 2004)