It's the first day of 2009...a new year... a new start...somehow i feel all the same. There's nothing so special about the changing year..it's just another year to pass...getting older...and it makes me thinking about years I've spent. Have I've done enough good to get a ticket to the afterlife? Or perhaps the contrary...done enough bad to get the wrong tickets...I pray that my almost 32 years of living did not pass futile...at least i pray that my existence bring a sparkle of good in others and not the other way round. What worst that to live long but only bring misery and pain to others...that's a condemned life i dont want to happen in mine.
So last night, I avoided all celebration for the new year. I've had it enough for years in the past...had been in a firecrackers party...soaring my feet just walking at the beach with thousands of people...saw a spectacular show...I said i had it enough because all those celebrations worn out and lost its attractions. Not to mention that in some other parts of this world, so many brothers and sisters have to spend each night in terrorr...fear a missile to strike and robb their beloved form their arms...to see a spectacular celebration here and to see the darkest night there was really a great contrast that sometimes brought pain. It mademe thinking that life was not fair...but it just how things were...we can not always get what we want. To live means we have to able to feel and taste any flavor in it...may it be sadness, defeat, a loss...or happiness, victory and thriumph. It makes us grow and develop to some degree...it makes us feel that we are alive.
After praying, still hard to get close my eyes...watching TV did not help at all. The mayhem and uproars of the firecrackers and the buzzing of vehicles nearby made me sleepless. I wonder why people seem never get bored with such celebration...wasting time and money in such frenziness, lol. My soft pillow did not help either...had to cover my ears for the racketing uproar as night crept by...Thanks God, finally i could sleep after way past midnight :-)
This morning, i've come to one point...I feel so grateful and thankful to Lord of all for all that I have at the moments. So many blessings, i could not count even if i had to spend years for it...thank you for giving me a great parents, husband, brothers and sisters, and wonderful friends...thank you for all the flavors I've tasted in my life.. they made me grow and alive...
And for this year of 2009...just wanna be a better person...to live a life that brings good to others...
So last night, I avoided all celebration for the new year. I've had it enough for years in the past...had been in a firecrackers party...soaring my feet just walking at the beach with thousands of people...saw a spectacular show...I said i had it enough because all those celebrations worn out and lost its attractions. Not to mention that in some other parts of this world, so many brothers and sisters have to spend each night in terrorr...fear a missile to strike and robb their beloved form their arms...to see a spectacular celebration here and to see the darkest night there was really a great contrast that sometimes brought pain. It mademe thinking that life was not fair...but it just how things were...we can not always get what we want. To live means we have to able to feel and taste any flavor in it...may it be sadness, defeat, a loss...or happiness, victory and thriumph. It makes us grow and develop to some degree...it makes us feel that we are alive.
After praying, still hard to get close my eyes...watching TV did not help at all. The mayhem and uproars of the firecrackers and the buzzing of vehicles nearby made me sleepless. I wonder why people seem never get bored with such celebration...wasting time and money in such frenziness, lol. My soft pillow did not help either...had to cover my ears for the racketing uproar as night crept by...Thanks God, finally i could sleep after way past midnight :-)
This morning, i've come to one point...I feel so grateful and thankful to Lord of all for all that I have at the moments. So many blessings, i could not count even if i had to spend years for it...thank you for giving me a great parents, husband, brothers and sisters, and wonderful friends...thank you for all the flavors I've tasted in my life.. they made me grow and alive...
And for this year of 2009...just wanna be a better person...to live a life that brings good to others...
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