Thursday, May 29, 2008

CONFUSED

Sometimes, life is full of surprises. So, we have to be prepared and expect the unexpected, lol. Still it is like a hammer hit on my head when I got one this morning. A morning surprise that turned into a vicous circle in which i was caught in the middle of it. It's like eating a forbidden apple, lol. You eat it, your head beheaded. You dont eat it, you'll be shot...lol. It's not that bad :-), just wanna dramatize things a bit.

Either choice had left you nothing but pain. While the result as well as the choice had been made, everyone had given me a hard time ...pulling my legs around. It made me confused and felt uneasy. And why on earth, they thought I would even consider that position merely because it offered much better chance for promotion??? Eew...that's not likely me at all. My only motive is self-improving and self-convenient...chanelling my hobby in writing ...yet, their concern made me feel guilty if I left...and it's not likely that i'd be chosen...besides, i enjoy working here...

Anyway, i dont want to think about it much on this weekend....it will only spoil my time with my husband and family...so I just wanna wait and see...and pray Allah shows me the way...

Monday, May 26, 2008

The Last Moment

Goodbye love

it's time to leave

as the sand glass has lost its magic

defeated over time

the angel of death has came

cry no tears for me

grieve not upon my departure

as I leave with a smile

of victory

Farewell, my love

sing not a song of lament

for I choose a song of joy

to escort my thriump

Adieu my love,

I have lived my vessel of life so complete

no regret over my time

for I have conquered the greatest enemy of all

and for that, I depart with a smile

Reflection of Life

O, behold this amazing life

against all odds

through time of endless journeys

battered and wounded beyond repair

yet, still stood tall and proud

arms reached to the skies

Life is but a passing moment

a momentary pleasure

that soon will slip away

like dust in the wind

Life is but a fleeting voyage

a brief moment, yet so worthwhile

waste not for playful mischiefs

over momentary bliss

that deafen mind and heart

to trap thee into a slave of worldy joys

O, see not with bare eyes

as the world has so much to offer

yet, these must be sought beyond surface

they lay well-hidden within mysterious labyrinths

puzzles of life to discover

O, succeed is essential

for your fate is destined within these riddles

to open a gateway to ultimate universe

a stairway to immortal

My Acrophobia

Last night, on my way home I had to cross over a bridge for I had something to buy at the mall...it's about 20 metres high and below was a busy traffic. Then, a sudden panic attacked me...my heart raced and my body was trembling. Everytime, I looked down, I was panic as if both sides of the bridge trying to suck me out and threw me down. I had to hold to its railing and stopped many times just to take a breath.I walked so slowly. It took me 15 minutes to get cross over while the walk should have only taken 5 minutes. It's the longest walk I had to make. I was relieved when I finally safely got to my destination...

This irrational fear overcame me. I remembered I had several times take similar bridge but usually I walked with my husband or a friend of mine so the panic attack was not too much. Once, I was alone and the same fear engulfed me but not as scary as last night. I still dont know since when I suffer this 'acrophobia'.

Acrophobia is one of the most phobias and is an extreme fear of heights, which can induce feelings of panic, panic attacks, nausea and dizziness if a person is exposed to heights.Ehm, I suffer some of the sympthoms. Strangely, not all heights frighten me...I used to climb up highest mountains in my residence, and played at high trees during my child....and still love climb up trees untill now, lol. It does not scare me to cross a bridge above water or any high bridge as long as below is not traffic and pavement...so i am now wondering, do I suffer acrophobia???

Anyway, last night experience has left traumatic impact on me. I dont want to cross a bridge (high bridge) on highways without the company of my husband or my friends...except if there's no way avoiding it, lol.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

QAISRA SHAHRAZ'S HOLY WOMAN

already finishing Qaisra Shahraz’s Holy Woman… From my point of view, this thick novel reminds me of Indian films…the conflict, the plot, the characters and the ending are typically similar to those Bollywood films, except that it’s added with Islamic dogmas or creeds. The conflict is built between the heroine and her patriarchal family structure and existing social values and norms (typical family structure of India, Pakistan, and Bangladesh where women are inferior compared to male sex… the heroine or the hero will always oppose the existing social norms and values, and they always win), the plot flows forward without any obstacle and sometimes too slow in some parts and fast in others, the characters always have perfect feature and trait (the heroine is beautiful and smart like a princess and the male is gorgeously handsome, lol), and it has a happy ending; sadly the conflict is easily solved by the dead of the heroine’s sister and father so that she could easily get her love of life…just like many Indian films I’ve seen on TV. The only difference is that this novel is narrated with beautiful language and with such deep insight of social customs and values in Pakistani rural areas. The engaged marriage, the buzz and uproar of parent to find suitable husband/wife for their daughter/son, the social status differentiation/marriage inter caste/status, the strong patriarch structure system, are blended with its intrigues

Set in mainly in contemporary Pakistan, London and Egypt, Zarrie Bano was a glamorous 28 year-old daughter of a wealthy Muslim landowner, Habib Khan. She had wealth, beauty and brains and plenty of freedom…obtaining master in psychology . In short, she had everything a girl wish for. Yet, she was always a rebel to existing tradition and norms as well as religious one. . When it’s a custom for woman in Pakistan to wear duppatta (head veil, like what Benazir Bhutto always wore on her head), she had hard times to keep dupatta on her head. When a girl of her age should remain at home and accompanied with one of her family members wherever she went, she stayed in rented home to study in Karachi without any companion. She spent less time to study religion and rarely conducted a five time prayers as obligatory deed for every muslim. At the age of 27, she remained unmarried, since none of the suitors she had met at university in Karachi or within her privileged family circle came close to her ideal man.

Her love at first sight took place in a mela (traditional celebration in rural Pakistan) where she accidently exchanged glance with her brother’s friend, Sikander, a business tycoon who wanted to propose her (Again the hero and heroine were perfect in look and trait). Her father, Habbib Khan, took an instant irrational dislike to Sikander and vetoed the match with reasons he intentionally offended her daughter by paying attention more to ‘biscuit’ rather his lovely daughter. When the only son of the family, was killed in a freak riding accident, Habib Khan decided to make Zarri Bano his heiress, resurrecting an ancient terrible tradition which decreed that an heiress must remained celibate. Wedding, children, love a man and a woman, all will be denied to her. Zarri Bano was thus forced into marriage to the Holy Koran and become her clan's 'holy woman' – or Shahzadi Ibadat, a nun. Devotion and duty made her succumbed. Her life was turned upside down. She lost her freedom and the chance to have a normal life as a woman with marriage, husband and children. Her heart was shattered further when she heard her sister, Ruby married Sikander. Her life was now mainly absorbed by religious studies and obligation.

At first, it irritated me a bit to read how Qaisra Shihraz describeb burqa as a horrible cloth muslim women had to wear from the way Zarri Bano and her family and neighbors saw it. It was black long and covered body from top to toes leaving only enough space for eyes to see. Her family thought she was like a black ghost wearing that cloth. Gradually, the author showed how normal muslims going about their normal everyday lives and does allowed the readers to see the scholarly, gentle side of Islam. It was revealed that apparently there were no real nuns in the religion. In fact, the religion endorsed a family life bound by legal marriage. Zarri Banno had learnt much about Islam and embraced the dress code for women. Becoming Shahzadi Ibadat was no longer a torture as she got much new knowledge about Islam. But her only regret was Sikander…

Yet, I think I am much more interested in the story of other characters… the love story of Firdaus, the daughter of Fatima who was housemaid at Habib Khan household, and Kalwar, the son of Chaudarani Kaniz. I like Firdaus better than the main heroine. She’s smart, independent as well as stern at principles…she’s not a beauty as Zarri Banno but her character was stronger, I guess.

The proud Chaudrani Kaniz, the wife of Habib Khan’s cousin, had always rejected the idea of marrying her only son with someone below their family status. Not mention that Fatima was her silent long enemy since her late husband was handed over proposal to her and being rejected. Thus, her chose Kaniz as second best. For Kaniz, Fatima was a thorn and thistle in her garden that should get rid of and so was her daughter. Meanwhile, Firdaus was an educated girl and appointed as head principle in the local principle. Her mother had sacrificed her life by working with the Habib Khan to finance her daughters’ education. As with her mother, Firdaus had high self esteem and never succumbed in humiliation. She did not take Kaniz’s pride dishonored her without a fight. Her mother once denied status and wealth offered by Kaniz’s husband by choosing an ordinary man. Firdaus would do the same. The conflict and plot of these characters were more intriguing and interesting.

At the end, the end of all the conflicts was so predictable. There’s no un expected result or no incident that could caught my breath while reading the novel. It’s like reading Bengali or Bollywood movies in written version. Yet, the novel gave us some new knowledge about Pakistani tradition and values. It’s a society with strong patriarch familial structure where the practice of Shahzadi Ibadat still lingers… a practice that is actually against Islamic law…

Sunday, May 18, 2008

A THOUSAND SPLENDID SUNS




I have just finished reading Khaled Hosseini’s second novel, A Thousand Splendid Suns. Khaled Hosseini's second novel. Similar to The Kite Runner, Hosseini weaves a story of friendship, betrayal,  family, endurance and survival in the war torn society of Afghanistan. This time, the tale centers on two Afgani women who are brought jarringly together by the tragic sweep of more than several decades of turmoil and war.  Both women have to endure pain and misery to survive amidst the chaos and cruel male dominance to find their happiness. Mariam and Laila are the heroines of the story  born 20 years apart that builds a deeply moving account of family and friendship to find hope, courage, and faith in their pursue of hapinness. The breathtaking story is set against the backdrop of Afganistan's volatile events in its last thirty years of warfare - from the soviet invasion to the reign of the Taliban to post-Taliban rebuilding. While his first novel, The Kite Runner unfolds the story of Amir and Hasan from the time of peace up to the rise of Taliban viewed from male point of view, his latter novel reveals the story of two women from a female point of view. Yet, Hosseini’s profound insight about women position in Afgan already finds the way out in The Kite Runner when he narrates the story of Soraya, Amir’s wife. I think A Thousand Splendid Suns expanded the horizon that had been opened slightly in his first novel, the world of women in Afghan. The novel takes us into a journey on what it's like to be a woman in a country where male tradition hiding behind the stiff religious doctrines to justify their oppression and superiority towards women.



Mariam was an illegitimate daughter of a wealthy Herat businessman, Jalil who had 3 wives and 9 “legitimate” children, with his housekeeper, Nana. His 3 wives were less than enthused when they learnt about the affair. They devised a  compromise to force Nana and her daughter to live in a location where people rarely set foot on the area. They did not want to bring shame to the family. So, it was decided that Nana and her illegitimate daughter should live in a kolba, a poor little hut made of mud. In return, Jalil would supply all their basic needs. Born in 1959, Mariam was raised in a kolba on the outskirts of town. Nana became a bitter often cruel person to Mariam . Innocent of her unwanted existence, Mariam kept thinking that Jalil was a good father as he  visited her weekly and brought her many presents. On the other hand, Nana always made grudges about him, saying he was a coward without respect at all.  Naïve and innocent, Mariam favored Jalil over her mother. Tension between mother and daughter was palpable. Her life centered only around the kolba. Her only neighbors were Mullah Faizullah, her teacher, and Bibi Jo. She received  inconsequential education solely from Mullah Faizullah. Status and education were denied to her due to her illegitimacy. She has learnt hardship and suffering resulted from the betrayal of men since her early childhood. It ruined both Nana's life and hers.


"Learn this now and learn it well, my daughter: Like a compass needle that points north, a man's accusing finger always finds a woman. Always. You remember that, Mariam", once her mother said to little Mariam. Sadly, she only learnt the truth of the remark later on when it was too late. Nana had killed herself for her disobedience. She went to his father's house despite Nana's strong prohibition. It was an action she regretted for the rest of her life. She was all left alone and learnt the bitterness of his father's betrayal. She had worshiped her father with all her heart, yet he abandoned her. Her own father had rejected her, surrendering to tradition and good name. Eventually, she was given in marriage to Rasheed, an older shoe-maker from Kabul, at the age 15. Her father mainly married her off to remove the embarrassment of her very existence from his world. Rasheed was an ugly, cruel man inside and out. Her husband tore her spirit down with his cruel abuses and dominance. she was forced to wear a burqa against her will. His only concern was to get Mariam bore him a son. When she had miscarriages, he stopped trying and treated her like dirt on the floor. He was a hypocrite. He kept saying that his nimos (honor and respect) require him to order Mariam to conceal her face and body from the world. But he himself sought pleasure in porn photographs. Mariam was naïve and pure at heart. Despite all his abusive manners and hypocrisy, Mariam, like any other women in such male dominance society, devoted all her life for her husband. She was helpless, alone, uneducated, and poor. She could not think of any other option to get free.


Meanwhile, Laila was an attractive girl who lived just up the street. She was born from an educated, liberal parents and enjoyed the freedoms Mariam was restricted from. Unlike other girls during Mariam time, Laila rejected many tradition and restriction imposed by the society. She and her dear male friend, Tariq did routines and habits that often girl was not allowed to do like going to cinema, kissing, etc. She was a liberal at mind. During warlord wars, propelled by despair of separation, they made love out of a marriage. It was an act of adultery and greatly condemned by their society and religion. With a promise that he would return for Laila, Tariq left with a devastated heart. She endured the same pain as well. A rocket destroyed Laila's home with her parents in it upon their preparation to leave Kabul for Peshawar. Somehow, she suffered the same fate with Mariam. She was alone and cast off. It's a fate that brought Laila and Mariam together.


Laila's unexpected pregnancy forced her to become Rasheed's second wife. She deceived Rasheed in order to survive in the harh world where women were always to blame for the all sins committed. She needed Rasheed to protect her and her unborn child. Both were deceiving each other. Yet, it was too late for Laila to realize just how cruel he was. Mariam, bitter and alone, was resentful with Laila's presence. Laila had robbed her of everthing dear to her. She was old and childless. It was a losing war to compete with the young and beautiful Laila. Not to mention that Laila had bore Rasheed two children. Her relationship with Laila started out poorly and got worse. It was after Laila shared her secret that Mariam started to develop a mutual feeling for Laila. Eventually,  their shared victim status and their mutual disgust and hatred for Rasheed had sealed their fate together to fight the tyrant. After an initial rivalry, Mariam and Laila became ally and best friends. Both shared their thoughts and dreams, trusted each other with their secrets and both shared a common enemy, their husband. Rasheed was a hostile and sadistic tyrant at their household. Through Laila and her two children, Mariam found peace and comfort. She found her shattered dreams fixed in them. To safeguard her her dreams, Mariam would do anything, including giving her life a way. She had to help Laila find her hapiness. She would do anything to get Laila and her children in Peshawar to be with her beloved Tariq who was alive and well. It's a sweet sacrifice for Mariam. 


“She remembered Nana saying once that each snowflake was a sigh heaved by an aggrieved woman somewhere in the world. That all the sighs drifted up the sky, gathered into clouds, then broke into tiny pieces that fell silently on the people below. As a reminder of how people like us suffer, she'd said. How quietly we endure all that falls upon us”




The resolution of the conflict between these two women is like a bitter sweet orchestra. It is compelling, riveting and painful that will make readers shed tears to see their suffering and struggle. It's like the readers will get the impression that there aren’t too many happy endings in Afghanistan. Yeah, life in the war-torn Afganistan is hard. Frankly speaking, the story is wrenching the heart. It's beautiful as well as sad. I prefer a happy ending, yet a happy ending is hard to get in the world of Afganistan that is still torn with unrest of civil war :-). War, violence, male dominance society, and ancient traditions and norms had curbed women further into inferiority in Afganistan. Worse, such society justifies their ancient traditions and customs by misinterpreting religious doctrines for their own purpose. It's a beautiful and heartbreaking novel :-) amidst the backdrop of historical settings.



Thursday, May 15, 2008

THREE BOOKS ON MY WEEKEND

I've got three novels to read this weekend...great books...cant wait to finish them all

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Serenity

Here I am

Stand still in this solitary hill top

Breathe air of solitude

Feel the breeze of spring

That bears the fragrance of grass and wild flowers

To my bare feet

Soft green grass lay wet

Bathing in morning dews

To my bare eyes

Poplars and willows wave their branches

Playful in a jest

Under misty morning rays

to my body and soul

the nature sings beautiful lyrics

mystical and beautiful

a serenade of spring

a symphony for the soul

I close my eyes

To hear the music of the spring

With heart so wide open

so light and full of joys

with soft white clouds

higher and higher

Grief nor disquiet come no more

THE POWER OF WORDS

It’s a spear with mighty force

It’s a sword with piercing eyes

It’s a saber with sharp point

Yet, it’s soft and warm with love

With much wisdom of life

It’s a Niagara fall

So distant yet great

It’s a Nile river

Everlasting flowing in glory

It’s an Amazon forest

So dense with live and mystery

It’s most powerful weapon

It could crumble a state

Bring down an empire

Melt a heart of stone

Steal strength of Samson

Weaken Golliath in war

In words, lay power

In words, lay an ocean of knowledge

It’s the language of heart and mind

Most precious gem of all

Monday, May 12, 2008

WOMEN

Women

Fragile yet strong

Tender yet stern

A fire and ice

Loving and fierce

Women

A model of true beauty

An ocean of mystery

For universe to discover

“The Kite Runner “: One Decision That Changes Everything


“I had one last chance to make a decision. One final opportunity to decide who I was going to be. I could step into that alley, stand up for Hassan--the way he’d stood up for me all those times in the past--and accept whatever would happen to me. Or I could run.”




Many believe that life is all about making the right choices. Some are big, life-changing choices, but many are small, day-to-day ones. These choices, small or big, are the hinges upon which the paths of our lives turn. They will define what course we set sail upon. Once awhile, perhaps, we will probably sit down and ponder upon one choice we take that set our life on a completely different course than if we had chosen one of the other options available to us. Making a life choice and decision is the most difficult thing to do because it brings consequences to our future. One wrong choice might turn your life into a twisted end. It is such exertion of making the right choice that is sourly portrayed in The Kite Runner, a novel by Khaled Hosseini.

Amir, the leading character in the novel, had made a fatal decision that changed his whole life forever. Instead of defending Hassan, his childhood friend, he chose to abandon him into a disgrace. He chose to run away, an act of cowardice. Unable to face his shame, he further devised a wicked scheme to get rid of him and his father. After all, he was a Pasthun, a major tribe in Afghanistan, and Hassan the Hazara, the minority tribe in which the two tribes are divided by race and religious mainstream, Sunni and Shia. He was the master and Hassan, the servant. Despite the betrayal, Hassan did not develop any signs of hatred for Amir. He took the blame of thievery to protect Amir. For Amir, Hassan would always say “for you, a thousand time over”. The nature of their friendship is forever altered.



The Kite Runner tells the story of Amir, the privileged son of a wealthy businessman from Wazir Akbar Khan district of Kabul, who is haunted by guilt of betraying his childhood friend Hassan, the son of his father's Hazara servant. Hassan continually demonstrates loyalty, honesty, and courage to Amir. Every time Amir was bullied, Hassan stood by him to protect. It is described clearly how seeds of hatred grow and develop among the tribes in Afghanistan back then. Thus, the friendship between Baba (Amir’s father), Rahim Khan (Baba’s closest associate), with Ali (Hassan’s father) is regarded absurd and bold. It’s against the prevailing norms. The story is set against a backdrop of tumultuous events, from the fall of the monarchy in Afghanistan through the soviet invasion, the mass exodus of refugees to Pakistan and the United States, and the rise of the Taliban regime.



Despite their different tribe, Amir and Hassan grew up together. They fed from the same breast and learnt to crawl together. They spent their days in a peaceful Kabul, and enjoyed doing anything together. They used to play hide-and-seek, cops and robbers, cowboys and Indians, and they loved insect torture. They took strolls together through the parks and saw many movies together. One of the most memorable times that Amir and Hassan shared together was underneath their pomegranate tree on top of a hill. They climbed the tree and Amir read many stories to Hassan since Hassan was illiterate. Amir had carved on tree the tree "amir and Hassan, sultans of Kabul.” It was Hassan who helped Amir to choose the path of his future career while Amir had only taken advantage of the friendship. He made fun of him whenever he had the chance, but Hassan never took it to heart and still perceived Amir as his best friend.



Baba loved both in a kind of different ways, leading Amir to suspect his father favoring Hassan. In Baba’s eyes, Hassan was physically and mentally stronger than Amir. While Amir was weaker, he never stood up for himself. Amir loved poetry, something that Baba believed was not normal for a young boy. Hassan’s father was was brought to their household by Amir’s grandfather, a judge, after his parents were killed by two drunken men. The judge raised Ali with his own son. Ali became a servant as well as a good friend to Baba. Amir’s mother died in childbirth. Therefore, Amir had the feeling that his father despised him because he was the reason for her death. He craved for his father’s love and blamed Hassan as an obstacle. Meanwhile, Hassan’s mother, Sanaubar, abandoned him after gave birth, to follow a gypsy life. Ali loved Hassan so much. Father and son was so close and full of love. Such relationship was absence in Amir’s that nurtured a constant jealousy within him. Baba was always critical of Amir and did not support his ambition in writing. However, he found a father figure in the form of Rahim Khan, who understood Amir better, and was supportive of his interest in writing stories.

An incident took place while the boys ran up the hill they used to hang about. They were ambushed by three older Pashtun teens led by Assef, a hostile teen with sadistic tendencies and a follower of Hitler. Assef was the son of another rich Pashtun family who was also the friend of Baba. He regarded Hazara as minority group that should be eradicated from the land. On critical moment, Hassan stood up to defend Amir with his slingshot. As always, he was always be the bodyguard of Amir. Assef swore an oath, he would seek revenge. This incident would foreshadow an event that occurred later in the story in which Amir and Hassan’s lives were changed forever



During the prestigious kite tournament held annually in Kabul, Hassan had prepared everything to ensure Amir’s victory. He used his birthday present kite to compete, and directed Amir to beat all the other kites. It was Amir’s chance to win over Baba’s love for if he won he would acquire pride and glory. The last cut kite was the great trophy of the tournament and whoever got it would got pride and glory. Amir cut the last kite and Hassan chased off the kite for Amir, saying “For you a thousand time over" before he ran.

Hassan, the kite runner, went off searching for the kite, and got ambushed by Assef and his two comrades in the dead alley. Assef was determined to take his revenge. He gave Hassan two options: Either he gave the blue kite or received something bad. Hassan refused to give up the kite. Meanwhile, Amir was worried since Hassan hasn’t returned for long. He looked for him and finally stumbled upon the alley. He stood paralyzed in his hiding place to watch the horror. Amir saw the blue kite behind the back of Hassan; he protected the kite from the one person that he hated the most. He saw how Assef and his gangs molested Amir sexually. He turned his back on Hassan out of fear. He took the path of a coward. “I opened my mouth, almost said something. Almost. The rest of my life might have turned out differently if I had. But I did not. I just watched paralyzed.” He had betrayed the person that once stood up for him; the one person who was willing to do anything for his sake. It was a wrong choice he regretted for the rest of his days. It altered his friendship with Hassan forever.



Ashamed of his cowardice, Amir further devised a wicked scheme to get rid of Hassan for good so that he didn’t have to face him anymore. He falsely accused of Hassan of thievery. To protect Amir, Hassan took the blame for he would always love his friend. Ali eventually took Hassan away from the Baba’s household; it was no longer a safe place for his beloved son. Baba was devastated. Henceforth, nothing stayed the same. Amir’s fatal choice had ruined not only his life but also of those dear to him. After the Soviet invaded Afghanistan, Baba and Amir sought refuge in the United States (US). Their once prosperous life began anew from zero. Yet, no matter how far he went away, the nightmare of the betrayal haunted him constantly.



It’s not until twenty years later; Amir had the chance to redeem his sins and betrayal. After Taliban took over Afghanistan, Amir got a phone call from from Rahim Khan -the best friend of Baba. Rahim Khan told Amir "There is a way to be good again" as if he knew what happened to Hassan that night. It was Rahim Khan who revealed of his father’s secret; Hassan was actually his step brother, born from the same father. Rahim Khan said that there was a child that linked him to Hassan. The child was the key to redeem his past betrayal. The past could not be changed or altered to how he wanted his life to end up but Amir had one chance to make things right. Sohrab was an orphan falling tragically into the hands of one of Taliban leaders. He had suffered sexual abuse and unimaginable cruelty. The boy was trapped in war zone war, a lamb in the lair of the lions. The boy was in dire need of rescue just like Hassan who once waited for a help, a help that was denied to him because Amir run way cowardly. Amir had been given a second chance. Rahim Khan offered him to make the right choice, to redeem his betrayal to his step brother as well as his Baba’s towards Ali. It was a choice that could set him free inside. It was a choice that was likely to be paid by his life by entering the war torn Afghanistan, his homeland that he had deserted 20 years. His choice would eventually bring him face to face with his old nemesis, Aseef. Would he run again and turn his back? Or would he rush to the kid’s rescue and put his life on the thin line of death? And what was the link of the kid to his past? Well… the readers should continue reading the novel to know the ending of the story.

It’s a great historical fiction to read. It’s a story that compels the heart to ponder and experience how it feels to live a life with such a great burden of betrayal. Further, it also makes us see the other sides of life in Afghanistan before and after the wars. The colorful picturesque of Afghan before the war where Baba took Amir and Hassan for sightseeing was just beautiful in description. We are also forced to see how sometimes religion is twisted and manipulated to justify the cruelty for the sake of an individual or a group. Injustice and inequality of the majority towards the minority (like the case of Pashtun with Hazara) had created deep rooted hostility and wars. Such cases can be seen clearly on daily basis. Why can’t we live side by side regardless of color, race, and religion? In reality, we see many Aseef and perhaps many Amirs, Babas or Rahim Khans but such pure heart like Hassan is a rare gem to find.

Every decision we make, every path we take, will foreshadow our future. We are confronted with choices on daily basis in life, and we struggle to take the right ones. Sometimes, we make mistakes and then we are given second chance to make amends. It’s the choices we make and the actions to translate that choices that will make who we really are, not the blood that run within our veins. So, choose carefully, for you hold responsible for every choice you take.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

FRAGILE

How strange the way I landed on this land

Trapped between two solitudes

The one with fire

With heat that could melt iron and steals

The other with ice

With cold that could freeze things into statue

Below my feet a fragile ground

Shaken every now and then with such magnitude

Constantly Dragged me up and down

To easily weaken my grip

To throw me to either side

How funny the way I survived

Against all odds

Stood still in desperate gasps

With many fears inside my head

weariness had overcome me

drained my strenght

broke my fortress

And the ground like a broken china

Fragile as it may be

How scared I felt all the time

To count the time that elapsed fast

To count the hours, minutes and seconds

Before I fell

BENEATH A MARBLE SKY: MORE THAN JUST A LOVE STORY

Finnally, I finished reading the novel this day. It's more than just a love story novel. I find it as a mirror nowadays where people of certain faith fight against people from other faith. Beleivers nowadays has interpreted their holy book to serve their interests and benefits. Bloodshed is everywhere ...and they hide behind their faith as their justification. The novel wittily describes such terrible chaos. Power and fear can turn man into monster and sometimes love is the remedy.

A historic romantic epic story that tells tales behind the construction of most beautiful building in the world Taj Mahal, one of the seven wonders. All know about the magical building that was built by an ancient ruler to honor the memory of his beloved wife. History, facts and imagination are blended in such outstanding details that resulted in beautiful, mythical as well as dangerous and thrilling world. John Shors jus knows well how to this craftily.


It is a first-person narration in which Our heroine is Jahanara, the daughter of the Emperor Shah Jahan and his favorite wife, Mumtaz Mahal unfolded the secrets behind the building of monumental Taj Mahal to her two beloved granddaughter, Gulbadan and Ruyayya. Jahanara is smart, willing to flout Islamic tradition, kind to the poor, loyal and devoted to her parents. Her life was surrounded by generous love, affection as well as hatred, rivalry, deadly intrigues and wars. Like her mother, Arjumand who was later known as Mumtaz Mahal, Jahanara stood in engrossed male patriarch world that never let any women led anything. Her life was often in great dangers when she tried to defy some traditional customs; thus challenging the men’s world. She was caught up in the middle between her two siblings, Dara; the daydreamer who had kind gentle heart and always wanted to reconcile Hindus and Muslims but weak; and Arungzeb; who always hunger for bloodshed and hated Hindus and all people from other faith with a heart of stone, and had more fanatic conservative interpretations of the Koran to serve his personal motives in seizing the throne from the rightful heir, Dara.


The story begins with Jahanara growing up as a young girl, in the perfumed harems of the Red Fort of Agra and at the foot of the Peacock Throne, learning about intrigue and deception and imperial politics, and applying this knowledge to the ongoing struggle between her older brothers. She learnt about politics and its intrigues mostly from books and her mother. She was a witness how his father, the Sultan, often sought opinions and ideas from her mother than from his men. He had shown tremendous love to his Arjumand and believed that women could also lead if only the customary traditions allow them to. In these two, Jahanara found what true love was and how women were capable contribute in politics and other fields as well as men…and that in order to survive the kingdom, the Sultan should fairly respect his people of all faith.. a very daring challenge that was abhorred by Aurangzeb.

Her world was shattered when she had an arranged marriage for political reason with a smelly boor, Khondamir, most influential silver merchant in the region. Her husband was a fool with shallow brain that was ignorant to her feelings and mind. This plot was a little bit strange for me as there’s no enough explanation on how and why her parents chose him. It was really annoying on how careless her wise father and witty mother should have chosen the ugly, old, fat man for the most beloved daughter. I would expect that if she should marry with elder, he should be an influential politician or prince to build a strong alliance. This leaves a big question mark in my head until the end of the book. She escaped her husband only after the death of her mother, which inspired her father to build the Taj Mahal. Devastated with grief, the Shah entrusted Jahanara the details of construction, who threw herself into the creation of the massive tomb. In the process, she fell in love love with the young architect, Isa. They hid their love story in secrecy under the protection of the Shah (It was redemption for his wrongful choice of Khondamir) and bore a daughter that was named after her grandmother, Arjumand.

Meanwhile, Aurangzeb’s lust for power had blinded his mind. He did terrible things to overthrow his own father. He brutally slaughtered the war captives, destroyed temples, and ruled with an iron fist. He executed his brothers and jailed his father and sister.

The intrigues, the civil wars, the killings for the throne reminds me of such events that happen in the old times when kingdoms still at reign. Brothers kill brothers, father kills sons, sons kill father…all for the sake of power. Such intrigues, betrayal, hatred could easily read in history of China Dynasties, Pharaoh Dynasties, etc. Such elusive as well as dangerous world always lie behind the golden cage.

Anyway, I find the love story between Shah and Mumtaz Mahal is the most fascinating love story than Jahanara. I am always against love relationship without legal matrimony.

The friendship between Nizam, and Ladli with her fascinates me. It’s hard to find such loyal friend who gives even their life over yours. It’s a rare bond to find nowadays. Like the loyalty of Sam Gangee to Frodo. True friendship always forgives and gives. And I think Jahanara is luckiest woman in the story as she has such true friends. Life would be barren and dry without such friends. It’s better having one true friend than many. A question that is now occupied my mind about the value of such relationship especially when you are torn between two.



Wednesday, May 7, 2008

I'VE GOT THESE BOOKS

I'd just bought these two amazing novels yesterday...I couldn't beleive it...to buy two books within one day. And these two will be on top list to read.

Already read some of Taj Mahal...it really got me...the way John Shors weaved the story in such elaborate dialoques and sentences was great. Not to mention the intrique, betrayal and love theme that were composed neatly...made me wanna read more and finished the book...

Guess, I have to find spare time for this...perhaps this weekend...

The Degrading Pop Culture: Women being victimized and commercialized

It’s interesting watching Oprah Winfrey’s Show few sessions ago that discussed how women especially teenagers were leaded systematically to believe that their identity was defined by what they saw on TV, films, videos, magazines etc. It’s part of huge pop culture industries that designed the identity of its consumers. It’s a culture that is dominated by male and sadly women are merely the object or the victims of the show. Unfortunately, women themselves begin to collaborate to justify the images of what a woman should be, or should act, dress or should say. It’s a pop culture that makes billions of dollars merely by exploiting women sexuality. Nudity, sexual exposure and gestures become the core attraction of the gigantic Hollywood industries that brought a domino effect around the world. It shaped the defined identity of women around the world.

Most of music videos or images in the showbiz industries displayed vivid pornography and free sex under disguise of arts. Shaking of butt, exposing and revealing parts of bodies, sexual activities etc…It’s repeated over and over again that it became acceptable images. Women were exploited willingly without protest and it became a devil circle that had no end. It conveyed message that to do what those images shown was cool. In fact to get accepted by the male world you have to imitate such acts because women in the showbiz of pop culture did such things. It’s an ordinary thing to get your sexuality revealed… you are sexy if you have a certain size boost, hip, waist etc…you are sexy if you wear dresses that expose your parts of sexuality…you are sexy if you look like those Hollywood stars… and the reason is…because men like it…Women were victimized and commercialized. It was done for a very long time that they were unaware being enslaved in the male dominated world. Women in the showbiz business were the role model for millions of its viewers all around the world so women became oppress the other women and the devil circle was complete. There’s no end of this as long as women oppress each other. Therefore women got lost and started to believe that their identity was defined by those images of pop culture in which mostly displayed women as the role model. It’s amazing how big the culture had impact of the way women see themselves and the standard of morality in the US. And it became an issue that arouse concern in the country lately…pornography and sex addiction that started to crumble families life.

Globalization

Globalization has spread all over the world. There are almost no boundaries between countries in this era of information and technology. Technology has created information without boundaries. You can search any information you want via Internet without ever leaving your desk. All information you need, can be instantly delivered in your desktop. Technology has accelerated globalization up to the level that no one has imagined before. Globalization combined with technology has created a world without boundaries.

Consequently, the pop culture of the western world especially the pop culture of the US (as the US is the barometer of pop culture in the western world) has easily reached Indonesia. Despite renowned for its eastern culture, Indonesia has gradually absorbs the culture to a level that no one has ever imagined before. It moves so fast and quick. What is considered taboo by our culture is now becoming a permissive one. Sex and pornography were once something that’s taboo to talk about or to get revealed in public. Now, it’s like a plague. It’s like an epidemic disease that this country has to cope with, sometimes in despair. It got worse particularly when the reformation took place in 1998. In the name of freedom of the press, news and Medias grew like mushrooms during rainy season. In the name of democracy, these Medias claimed that they had freedom to expose any content of news including pornography either explicitly or implicitly. The disaster became clearer when most of these Medias could be categorized as ‘garbage’ Medias, which exploited merely women sexuality and violence. Playboy Indonesian version was one of the examples. It’s definitely a magazine adopted from the US where in its motherland the magazine was only read by adult and not sold freely on the streets. On the other hand, in Indonesia this magazine was freely sold on the streets and no authority could control this. Even children under the age of 17 could buy this magazine easily as long as they had money. Not to mention the mushrooming garbage Medias that displayed pornographic images in their cover and contents that were piling on the streets. Hijacked porn videos were publicly sold and thousands even millions of people watched them.

The worst was the impact of TV on the mentality of young generation in this country. It only strengthened consumerism, violence and pornography. Among the many shows or TV serials, there were only few that really portrayed good role model. Even the religious TV series were vulgarly displayed violence and pornography. It’s nothing but pop culture that was packed in religious title. “Jangan Panggil Aku Anak Kecil” was an odd strange TV series. It clearly adopted western culture/pop culture without screening. The story and the dialogues weren’t Indonesian at all. It’s like living in the middle of nowhere seeing the serial. Artist mostly women were dressed in minimal clothing, revealing their body, exposing sexuality act …arguing that it’s part of the show…that the producers liked it…the audience liked it when the artists were so sexy and hot….hello…don’t they realize that you (women) were victimized and commercialized by showbiz industries which was in fact dominated by male world. So the core attraction of showbiz business was to give male ‘pleasure’. And this has conveyed to its female viewers a message that it’s what a women should be…sexy …hot…fashionable…and act stupid sometimes…that it’s ok and normal to expose your sexuality…it’s our freedom…

The breathtaking phenomenon among artists and politicians was the free sex. How many had been caught having sex outside of wedlock. Even some were intentionally recorded their sexual activity on camera that finally got leak and widely spread in public. Some artists were even start to proclaim their living together with their spouses without marriage. Some even got pregnant before married. It’s such a sad phenomenon. They played as role models for their viewers. But in the name of personal freedom, they adopted culture that was clearly against eastern and religious values. No religion permits free sex… and now they tried to defy the laws of God…The Devine…This country has been absorbing permissive culture.

Women posed in magazines were even worse. They were willing to get undress to heighten the artistic scene in the naughty media. Some were even willing to get naked for the sake of art. Remember the nudity case of Azhari sisters, Sophia Latjuba, etc. They claimed it’s for artistic reason. It’s what the audience wanted. It’s part of the art. Besides, it’s my body…I have freedom over my body….Art was a world of its own. Art was not meant to get connected with moral or religiosity standard. It’s an autonomy world. Oh…come on…which art…whose definition…art is part of human culture. It’s an expression in the form of art…but the basic core of its existence was to serve humanity. Mankind creates it and certainly it’s not a world of its own. It has to follow rules created by man as well for sake of human benefit. After all, freedom has limit… others’ rights and freedom were the limit…So it’s stupid that nakedness in artistic activities was not the same thing with nakedness in the porn magazines. Naked is naked…it’s one similar thing…artistic or not…it exploited women sexuality…the difference lied only in the categorization of its viewers…nakedness in porn magazines was mostly connected with naughty male –female viewers with shallow brains and burning passion. While the latter was assumed connected with viewers with wit and artistic intuition and controlled passion…what a crap…naked is naked…porn or not…all had given advantage to one…male world…

Women who’s willing to pose naked was already selling their soul…some did it for money…others did it for pleasure only or for searching something new, something challenging…borrowing from the Oprah’s, women who did it was carving a hole in their soul. And that’s true…the consequences was massive towards their female sisters…they had unconsciously given the wrong message to the world about women. They were unconsciously led to create such fallacy because the male world had designed it. All for the pleasure of male…male and female that should exist in harmony and synergize, now become enslaving one sex….what’s wrong then? Where does it begin? Where does it end? It’s a devil circle…hard to break as long as women were marginalized …as long as women still enslaved their other fellow women…

The Weak Law Enforcement

Are there any regulations that regulate this issue? Surely there is. In fact there had been several laws passed to regulate this issue. Again, the problem lies in the enforcement of the law itself. The Ministry that issues the license of Medias should be the first place to control the irresponsible Medias. Yet it failed to perform its duties. Many Medias that got license for publication disabused the license. They covered pornographic images which were clearly forbidden. Strangely, there’s not enough action to stop this. There’s neither suspension nor an annulment of license for those naughty Medias. They kept continuing their publication without any punishment at all. Even Playboy still existed.

The police department that has authority to enact the law was powerless either. Sometimes the chief police deployed personnels to sweep bad magazines and news on the streets and stores such as in Glodok to make pornography raid. It didn’t work. It stopped at the time of raid but when it’s over, those bad guys loose on the streets again. Again it’s a devil circle. And the TV Medias that was clearly transgressed the rules about pornography and violence was free from punishment. TV has been acknowledged widely had a great impact on society because it could reach almost all viewers of any social status. It could be imagined that if those audience were constantly bombarded by pornography and violence images every single day, then the impact would massive. This country has already suffered from it…teenagers were proud to have recorded their sexual activities, teenagers raped children or other teenagers to satisfy their burning lust after watching porn videos, women wore less material for clothing that could arouse sexual abuse, etc. Who suffered the most from this situation was certainly women. Women had to pay a great price from what they were designed to do in this male dominated world.

What We Can Do

We can not rely solely on the country or the government to overcome this problem. Each citizen has responsibility to solve the problem. The entering of degrading pop culture cannot be stopped in the globalization era like this. It’s impossible to do. What we can do is to strengthen our barriers…fortify ourselves with strong and good values from our society and religion.

Women who are mothers should carefully watch over their children. Making intense discussion about what’s going on in their world…simply asking them to start to talk about what’s right what’s wrong in their perception…instilling the values about right and wrong…and most important fortify the children with strong religious values. All cannot be succeed without example. Be a role model for your children. Teach them by example. This is something we all have to start to care about.

Women must from now on realize that it’s not the Medias, which define our identity. She herself must define herself…. Don’t let yourself get lost by the dictation of the degrading pop culture. There’s so much you could do without surrender yourself to garbage activities…It’s not cool at all exposing your bodies … Be who you are …and say no to pornography and drugs…because it’s ‘crack morphine’ that could destroy your life.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

SILENT GRACE

A calm peaceful night

little stars twinkle in playful jest

a soft wind fans the night

a bright moon shines over darkness

brings warmth of freshly formed dew drops

over grass on hills

thin moist shines and floats

over ring of mountains

a stir in soul for this graceful sight

As day breaks

sun shines its red crimson streak

slowly emerges above the mountain peak

makes the field vivid and sleek

soft fogg floats below and above its waists

creates heaven below its highest ground

a breeze of wind carries fragrance of wild flowers and moistened grasses

such a joy to the eyes

a magical feeling stirs the soul

admiring a perfect painting

of The Creator

THE WORLD WITHOUT US

An intriguing or perhaps frightening idea ever thought of? What would the world be like if men were wiped off from the face of this earth? The most powerful creatures that had dominated the world for centuries have been ironically destroyed the place they had lived in. Global warming as consequences of irresponsibility of mankind’s activities that devastated the environment becomes a real threat in the world today and the future. We read almost every day in the newspapers and TV, natural disasters of landslides, flood, drought, heat wave, and hurricanes among others that were predicted as result of global warming. This nature anomaly caused by the massive changes of climate due to environmental destruction. The massive deforestation and the gigantic industrial activities that produce green house gasses (GHGs) combined with the ignorance of most men towards the problem lead to worsening deterioration of this world. Alan Weismann, an award-winning journalist whose reports have appeared in Harper’s, The New York Times Magazine, The Atlantic Monthly, Discover, and on NPR, among others recently wrote a book The World Without Us as reflection of his deepening concern of the dying universe and the ignorance of men. It is said that the book is the expansion of his article Earth Without People in Discover Magazine in 2005. It is a must have book that everyone should read as environmental problems are every one concern that would determine human’s existence.

Earth Without People can be easily browsed in http://discovermagazine.com/2005/feb/earth-without-people/. It is a fascinating article to read especially the imaginary world without men in which extinct animals and plants grew freely in the wild. The trace of human beings disappeared and replaced by the mushrooming of rare flora and fauna. Yet, this imaginary idea is strongly supported by some facts resulting from discussion and interviews with scientists and experts from various fields. So it is not just a mere imaginary statement without proof and fact. Excerpt from the World Without Us revealed the fact of the emergence of plants and animal in the deserted Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plan. No human dared to set foot on the contaminated area ever since the nuclear reactor explosion in 1986. Amazingly, without the interference of human, wild plants and animals emerged in the abandoned area. That’s what makes this book listed into Best American Science Writing. It is a daring experimental thought that arouses our awareness on the seriousness of the environmental problems. Would the disappearance of human from the face of the world be the best remedy for this dying planet? Does the existence of human only bring destruction to this planet? The answer lies in human race itself. Do we have courage and determination to change this world into a better place to live by doing our best to save this planet even if it was only considered small? Or we could just sit down and watch this planet crumble into pieces.

Trees of life

stand tall for all time

watched over history pass by

witness of monumental moments

where kings and queens were crowned

roamed in their glorious days

also their crumble like dust in the wind

history repeated

over and over again for millions years

Trees of life

silent guardian of men

full of wisdom and knowledge

about rise and downfall on human race

as old as aged woods and forests

smelt damp as the marshs

so loyal to stand over time

even if you were betrayed

cut down and burned

destroyed and tortured

for you bear witness

the history of men