Defeating Boredom at Office

This morning I got a call from my colleague. At the other end of the line, she said in frustration, “My work is a drag; I’m deadly bored. Help me, please!” Well, actually I wanted to say, “Yeah, tell me about it! We’re on the same boat! Welcome to the club!” hahhahahhahahah… But the words stayed in my mouth, sealed and safely securedJ. I knew it would worsen her days if I said so. Being a good friend, I lent some words of comforts. “C’mon, get up and make plans. Do something spontaneous to kill your boredom. Go out to lunch somewhere outside your work area, get a manicure, you’re your camera and take some shots, go to rooftop and scream it aloud, go home on time today or just read a good book. YOU create your day!” “I read novels to kill my boredom.” I said enthusiastically, hoping to infect her with my jollyJ. I further said “If you want a perfect ending, you would never find it. Even the best poems don’t rhyme, and many great stories don’t have a perfect happy ending. Life is about not knowing, fighting through some bad days to earn the best days of your life, and taking a moment and making the best of it without knowing what’s going to happen next. Don’t let boredom defeats you.” In short, I composed some wonderful speech I used to read to cheer her up :-) (ehm…though I’m still struggling hard to apply this wisdom, lol).

To be honest, doing the same things the same way daily, one day identical to the next tends to leave you feeling unhappy, and discontent. It becomes routines as every day is the same thing; the same people, the same walls, the same colors, the same paperwork, the same uproars, the same ‘confinement’ at your desk as if you are glued to your chair for eternity, lol. Our days become dull because we no longer have to think about it–it’s set on autopilot. You simply do your work because that’s part of your routine. Our days become predictable, leaving no room to grow. We lose the challenge and the adrenalin especially when the company doesn’t offer any possibilities for growth and improvement. The feeling of having no opportunity for improvement and that you’re completely stuck in a rut helplessly can be very overwhelming sometimes. Often, an increased boredom affects the employee’s creativity and work performance. Absenteeism, increased tardiness, job dissatisfaction and apathetic mood are some warning signs for employees who get infected by such virus called ‘boredom’. It is one of the common problems faced by employees today. If it is not addressed properly, it might lead to lower job production. So, if one of your colleagues shows such signs, beware and try to give him/her support and encouragement :-).

Well, as I have said to my friend “Let’s face it! Sometimes, we don’t always get what we want. You have to accept that some things will never be yours, and learn to appreciate the things that are only yours. Sometimes, we think life in office is so unfair. But we shape OUR DAY! So, get up and make sunshine of our day!” Say goodbye to so many ‘whys’ in our head, “Why am I here?” How long am I going to slog it out out this way?” Don’t wait for the Management to make a move when you feel like having a Caramel Macchiato or Iced Apple Mojito Tea or a cup of hot ‘teh tarik’. You have to move and do it yourself! Don’t expect your Management to set things right for you. You have to make your own sunshine at office, things that keep you passionate and engaged :-)! In times of great stress, keeps in your mind that it’s always wise to keep busy, to cultivate your anger and frustration into something positive. Have fun at your work, it is our birth right to have fun :-)! Do things that keep you alive; blogging, read jokes to make you laugh; nail some pictures at your cubicles, drawing some cartoons of your annoying boss or colleagues, writing your novel, or you can always have a good conversation, a good read, a good walk, a good hug, a good smile, or a good friend. A workplace needs not be a boring, dull place :-). There are many ways to make your life ‘creamy’ and amusing :-).

Speak up Your Mind without Offending

http://www.thejakartapost.com/news/2012/03/19/imo-view-speak-your-mind-without-offending.html


Like any other regular work days, my day starts with fighting my way through overcrowded commuter lines. Sometimes, I am lucky enough to secure a tiny spot to sit in the eight passengers seats. Often and mostly, I am not that lucky and have to stand all the way to Sudirman train station, crammed and jammed along with other passengers. This morning, however, the train was not too overcrowded. Some were still able to sit in their portable chairs at the floorboard which occasionally invited flashing anger from those who felt obstructed getting into the train because some people were just too ignorant sitting right in front of the door, lol. As usual, I wanted nothing more than doing something to relax awhile, something that stir the mind without provoking storms and unrest such as enjoying my novel. Anyway, as I was immersed at my reading, I heard growing commotion of bantering and bickering. It stole my attention. The increasing mayhem became louder and all eyes stared at the two middle aged ladies who sat side by side right in front of my standing spot. I decided to eavesdrop what’s all the fuss about but absolutely did not plan to butt into the heating conversation uninvited. I just wanted to be a silent observer (lol). Who knows I might learn one or two lessons from it. And this is what I grasp to understand “To speak up your mind effectively, you need to do it the right way.”




It's difficult to warn people without offending them even though we have already use any possible polite manners and tone. It happened that both ladies were having their light breakfast on train. The lady in a cropped black hair was having “nasi uduk”; savoring its delight with her bare fingers (this image annoyed me first time I laid my eyes on the lady. I mean c’mon, eating with your bare fingers without any water around to wash up. Well, it’s the thing I would not do except in an emergency situation). She was about in her late fifties with friendly look, smiling and comely in her thick make up. Apparently, nobody cared about this strangeness. Everyone was just milling around with their own activities, chattering around, reading papers, etc. Nobody but the lady with the headscarf next to her who seemed annoyed with the leftover rice spilled over. Perhaps, I might feel the same if I sat next a person who spilled rice all over, lol. She was at the same age perhaps. She had some fried banana for her breakfast, neatly stashed in Tupperware. In contrast with the first lady, her face was stern, sour, unsmiling, and simply unfriendly. Her dislike was intensifying when her neighbor dumped the garbage on the floor carelessly. Annoyed and disturbed, she wanted to advise her to keep the trash with her, and dumped it into the bin once she got off the train. She meant good but the way she uttered her words and the expression on her face just shattered all the good intended. Her words were just rude, as if giving order to her own son to correct the mistake, unsmiling and so rigid with emotional tone. Instead of obtaining positive responses, she got the same rude words and opposite effect. She expressed her objection with offending remark, tone and expression. As a result, all she got was negative responses and landed herself in a heated argument. They both still exchanged snicker and bickering before the lady in the headscarf got off, still yelling at each other, lol. I was just relieved they did not claw on each other.



I believe when someone wants to say that he/she feels annoyed and irritated by others, he/she should express his/her disapproval in the right way, avoiding offending and offensive words. He/she must know how to speak up his/her mind without offending the intended person at the same time. He/she has to get prepared that he/she will sometimes ruffle the feathers of others when speaking their mind, and thus there will always be people who do not agree with them or even go as far as arguing and debating. Our world is full of non-altruistic humans who think first and foremost of themselves. It’s rarely to find people who care what others might feel and just storm out with emotional flares without thinking. It is definitely a bad idea to speak your mind without taking the time "to think before you speak”. How often we see that words cut deeper than any sword. Once the words come out of your mouth, there is no way to take them back in. Once the words are unleashed without control, the damage may be done, even after you try to rectify the mistake by apologizing. So, it is wise to choose your words carefully before you let them out.



Therefore, the best way to speak up your mind effectively is to think carefully about what you say. You can make your points across without being rude in the process. In most cases, when you are blatantly rude when giving warning or advice, your words will simply "go in one ear and come out the other." While people will hear you, they will not listen with attention, or if they do, they will only hear the negative things that you said and turn into violence and resentment instead. So, when you speak, you have to properly control the tone of your voice. If someone is doing something that angers you, you have to tell them that you don’t like their deeds in a calm manner. Your face should also correspond to your voice tone because your tone of voice and visage communicate a lot. If they convey anger or similar emotions, your words will only hurt others or push them away. Your goal should be to maintain a calm demeanor and tone of voice at all times. By doing so, we can explain ourselves to others in a way that is not offensive and in return will get positive responses.



As I get off the train this morning, I can't help thinking of such similar incidents at office. Often, in office, such commotion takes place simply because people tend to use rude language or put a facial language that does not correspond to their intended meaning in expressing their mind. When we do not use the 'same language' in trying to solve a problem, then it will only end in chaos :-). It is important to keep in our mind that in any discussions, you must wear armors of strategies to enable you talking of anything without offending, hurting, or angering the person with whom you’re speaking with.

An Augury of Life

To see a world evolve in seasonal change,

Summer brings warmth as fire

Winter brings coldness as ice

Autumn brings colors as hope

Spring brings change as new life,






Joy is the undesirable companion of woe,

Sadness is the silent friend of pleasure,

Vice is the uninvited attendant of virtue,

Every grief and pine has a silken twine,

Such is what the soul require as attire

A Feast for Crows

A Feast for Crows is the fourth book in George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series. Unlike its predecessor, A Storm of Swords (which absolutely keeps me in great suspense and thrill and craves for more) is in a very different tone; its pace is a bit more leisurely and it is wearisome sometimes because Martin develops too many new points of views which makes the book can’t stand independently. The three fan-favorite characters are cut from Feast completely — Jon Snow, Tyrion Lannister and Daenerys Targaryen. It frustrates me as well to find the absence of Bran and his little band in their perilous adventure to find the three eyed crow. Queen Cersei is the star in Feast; she gets all the best scenes. The readers see more of her, and get a picture on how she struggles amidst the cruel male dominated courts. Yet, unlike her twin brother, Jaime, the more I get to know her, the less I have sympathy for her. She becomes a cruel and bitter tyrant, paranoid of everyone around her. Her ambition and fears have blinded her. The many new characters having loose connection to the main story is quite frustrating, giving a head a spin. It’s really disappointing to read the book to the end despite the fact Martin’s skills in constructing plots and crating the words. It is solely the urge not to miss the link to its fifth book that keeps me going, although I skip some pages, lol.




Feast takes up the story immediately after the events of the third volume in the series. It focuses on events in and around King’s Landing, on the Iron Islands, and down in Dorne. Readers will not see much of the bloody and violent action of previous volumes in Feast. Further, Feast focuses on the women of Westeros (Cersei Lannister, Asha Greyjoy, Arianne Martell and her cousins, Brienne of Tarth, Arya and Sansa) in their struggle to attain and maintain power or just to survive in the primarily misogynistic medieval society they live in. In the aftermath of Lord Tywin’s death (ignominiously slain by his own son, Tyrion the Imp), Cersei Lannister has pulled herself together and was ever more determined to rule King's Landing as Queen Regent until her youngest son Tommen came of age. She ruled with an iron fist, distrusted people around her, including Jaime and her Uncle. From her point of view, readers could finally see how her evil ambitions rooted from her childhood hurts. She would seize and maintain power at any cost. From the presumed safety of the Red Keep, she plotted to get rid of the unsubtle machinations of the ambitious Tyrells, starting from the young queen, Margaery Tyrell whom King Tommen wed to seal the alliance of the two Houses. She was also obsessed with finding her fugitive brother, Tyrion, who had slain their father and was accused of killing Joffrey. Blinded by her rage, fear and ambition, Cersei devised a scheme to drive off Jaime away, a decision she regretted later on.

Meanwhile, Stannis Baratheon has installed himself at the Wall in the far north. He claimed as the rightful king of Westeros and planned to gather support from the Northmen (the Stark’s banner men) to seize the Iron Throne. Melissandre, the red woman declared Stannis savior of the realm from evils lurking beyond the Wall called the Others as had been foretold in the old prophecy. They held Mance Rayder a captive along with his sister in law and baby son. Melissandre planned to sacrifice him to the fire, R’Lor, because every ritual needed kingship blood. Jon Snow, now Lord Commander of the Night's Watch, sent Maester Aemon and Mance’s baby son to save them from the fire because both had royal blood. It was a perilous journey by seas accompanied by Sam and Gilly. Upon his approaching death, Master Aemon learnt that his niece, Danny, survived and hatched three dragons. He begged Sam to bring Danny to Westeros as their rightful queen. She was the savior foretold by the old prophecy, the queen with three dragon heads who would heal the bleeding Westeros, and not Stannis.



Off on the bleak and craggy Iron Islands, the fanatical Greyjoys were deciding upon their new king when Balon Grejoy died due to terrible accident. They desired nothing less than to renew their rebellion and conquer Westeros. Asha Greyjoy, was King Balon’s favourite daughter. She was a fierce warrior who aspired for the throne because no one seemed to confirm whether her brother and Balon's rightful heir, Theon Greyjoy (the ward of Lord Edard Stark) was dead or alive. Yet, women were never made queen in Iron Islands. Balon's two brothers were in a battle for her father's crown. She was ever more determined to seize the throne at any cost, and thwarted any who stood on her way.



Far to the south in Dorne, the ailing Prince Doran Martell found himself alone in his allegiance to the Lannister in the Iron Throne. The rest of his family and subjects demanded war in revenge for the death of their beloved Prince Oberyn. Arianne Martell, his beloved daughter, turned against him and planned to install Princess Myrcella (sister of King Tommen) to claim the Iron Throne. During their escape, Myrcella was severely wounded and Arianne was captured. Prince Doran Martell imprisoned her along wih her cousins, bastard daughters (the sand snakes) of Prince Oberyn. The ailing prince had a secret of his own. He sent his long exiled son to find the lost dragon princess.

Meanwhile Brienne, the rough-hewn warrior woman who was good-natured, loyal and brave was on a quest to find Sansa Stark. Both Brienne and Jaime assumed Sansa was the only living Stark alive. She had everything to embark on the quest but a plan. Her large frame and un-womanly looks have kept her out of the traditional world of women of her time that made her constantly rebuked and humiliated. In addition, the attitudes of the men prevented her from being taken seriously as a woman knight that made her ‘unfit’ to any society she lived in. Renly Baratheon was the only man who ever showed her courtesy. She was in love with him, and swore the oath to serve and protect him. She failed. Thus, she was determined not to fail Jaime and Lady Stark this time. Yet, it’s so strange to see her wandering aimlessly to about the center of the map and being constantly set upon by men, only to die at the hand of the Stoneheart (the resurrected Catelyn Stark). She got lots of portions in the book but Martin just killed her by hanging (or will we ever see her again in the next series just like Catelyn and Theon?). It’s a bit unsettling.



Sansa herself was still holed up at the Eyrie, in disguise of Lord Petyr Baelish’s bastard daughter. She was still a docile and submissive frightened pawn used by Little Finger to gain power. Sansa's lone wolf sister, Arya (who believes all her family was dead but for Jon Snow), has sailed across the sea to the exotic city of Braavos, where a new life and uncertain destiny awaited. Slowly, she was forced to abandon herself as the wolf girl. She was a lost wolf without her pack, scrabbling and fighting her way through the world, trying to survive. In the end, she was poisoned and became blind.

To my dismay, the book offered no answers to mystery in previous series as if left me standing in the dark. One thing is certain: power is a feeble fleeting thing one can posses as has been perfectly expressed by Shakespeare "Uneasy rests the head that wears the crown." (Henry IV, Part II.) Those who have a lot of power and prestige also have a lot of responsibilities, and therefore worry more than other people. Yet, power always tempted men to seek after it at any cost. Men fight and kill for power in this novel. Kings and Queens alike fight for the throne to rule and punish instead of to protect and serve the citizens. Many want to obtain power, yet only few who deserve such a burden. And in the end, a crow will feast upon kings and beggars alike.

How do You Find Happiness in Life???

“Happiness does not depend on outward things, but on the way we see them”




Are you one of among millions of fans of Whitney Houston? Well…I don’t claim myself as being one though I do enjoy some of her songs. I used to listen to some of her greatest hits especially “I Will Always Love You” which I consider one of her most ultimate vocal performances of all time. She stands among few singers in music history who possesses powerful voice and has the ability to move an audience with her voice and songs. She had acquired tremendous successful career in singing as well as acting during the late 1980’s and early 1990’s. She has collected six Grammys and more than 400 other awards in her 25-year career. It’s like a Cinderella story with a happily ever after ending. She’s got beauty, talent, golden voice, fame and wealth. Many may wish for the money and fame of such pop star, thinking these things would mean a happier life. Who wouldn’t want money in today's crazy world where money is valued above all by many :-). Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way sometimes. “Happiness does not depend on outward things, but on the way we see them”, once Leo Tolstoy had said.



Whitney Houston’s once brilliant career and life turned ugly as drugs and alcohol ravaged her. A combination of her troubled marriage to Bobby Brown, drugs, alcohol, and depression wrecked her career and life in general. On an interview with ABC’s Diane Sawyer in 2002, the diva said "The biggest devil is me. I’m either my best friend or my worst enemy". It seems that she had failed to reconcile herself with the enemy within. In the end, fame and wealth was unable to offer her happiness. The once confident and charismatic Whitney Houston waned into a sad shell. Drugs and depression had consumed her vital energy that finally claimed her life. The shocking news of Houston’s untimely death in her hotel room last Saturday at the age of 48 has taken public by surprise. She failed to battle the devil within.



Sadly, a story like Houston’s is familiar in the glamour of music industry. Chaka Khan said that “music industry is demonic.” The pressure and tension is just too much sometimes. There are countless superstars around the world including in Indonesia are in constant warring with drug and alcohol on daily basis. Many are in and out of rehab facilities. Elvis Presley died at 42 after years of drug abuse. Marilyn Monroe died at the age of 36 after an overdose of barbiturates. Kurt Cobain's drug addiction has supposedly led him to commit a suicide. Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan are recent young artists who get entangled with drug and alcohol addiction. In Indonesia, numerous celebrities suffer similar struggle. Some are jailed for drugs abuse such as Roy Marten, Yoyo Padi, Ahmad Albar, among others. Some are battling and win like the late Gito Rollies. Some are losing and surrender their life for it like the late beautiful Alda. Why would they waste all their brilliant career and life for drugs or alcohol? are they not happy?



Well, we do not for sure what drive those people to use drugs and alcohol. Perhaps, the pressure and tension they endure that steer their erratic behaviors. Perhaps, they need them to boost more power temporarily until they get trapped and unble to break free. Some, maybe, consume the demonic subtances in an attempt to mask their fears and problems, falsely believing that the substances offer safety and security. There are many reasons and excuses to answer of the 'why' questions. But, I think we all agree on one common ground that whatever choice they take in life, they hold responsible for the consequences. We write our own destiny and no one is to blame on any consequences resulted from our own choice.


Lesson learnt from this tragic reality is no amount of fame of fortune or money could bring happiness if you are not happy inside. For example, I think I will be happy if I could get back in my old workplace to have normal working hours, less tension and stress. That's what I think the kind of thing that will make me happy. But such feeling is only temporary. If I ever obtain such position again, who could say that I would be happy and content. It's a state of mind to think that happiness will come to our way once we get what we want. The same case applies to all the buzz with promotion and mutation at work. Sometimes, you get transferred into a workplace you despise, or sometimes you don't get the promotion you are after for. Then, you start to think "Oh, God, this isn't fair", and see happiness vanish from your life. Well, cursing will not help. Sometimes, we do not always get what we want in life. We all live under the same sky, but we don’t all have the same horizon. The best thing you can do is exploit the best things of anything and be grateful on what you have... trying to see everything in their bigger picture :-)... trying to find the beautiful golden strands in every line :-)



It is the nature of men to always want more than what we already have. Once, we get what we wish for, we start to desire other things in mind to satisfy our needs. So long as we don't enjoy and feel content on the things we have, we will never be happy. True happiness can only come from inside us, when each of us decides internally that we are happy. It’s a bit cliché but it mirrors truth. Neither a single person nor a single drug could offer you real happiness when inside you are unhappy. Be grateful and content on what you have now...then we perhaps may find happiness...do our best and let God do the rest :-)



So, “Happiness does not depend on outward things, but on the way we see them” :-).

Lost Promises

Waves came crashing upon shores,


Dancing in melancholy blues,

Gently the moon laid her tender kiss,

And the stars formed a patch of silver dusts,

Brighten up the dark skies with colors,

Yet, the sea is still roaring in torment,

Casting fears over the night,





Under the shade of the full moon,

We stood in stillness,

As the ocean played its somber rhythms,

And seagull shrieked in cries,

Our tears frozen into misty pearls,

Rolling down to the watery sands,

Over our lost promises

Do You or Do You Not Celebrate Valentine's Day???

Today is Feb. 14 which is in some parts of the world, including some parts of Indonesia, is celebrated as the so called auspicious Valentine’s Day. It is a perfect time to celebrate romance, love, and kiss with candy, flowers, chocolates and other lovely gifts. Malls, restaurants, shopping centers, shops are decorated with symbols of Valentine's Day (V-Day) including roses, cupid and heart-shaped chocolates or balloons to magnetize lovers and families alike. Millions will double their spending to take their loved ones to restaurants and eateries to celebrate their joys of their togetherness with delicious cuisines on this special day or even buy precious gifts such as diamonds or any other expensive jewelry as a pledge of their fealty to their beloved. It is actually a western culture derived from ancient Rome during the era of paganism associated with feast of Lupercalia, a pagan fertility festival to its present incarnation as a commercial free-for-all driving huge sales of chocolate, flowers and jewelry. At present time, it is promoted and nurtured smartly by the greeting companies with collaboration with the candy, flower, and teddy bear companies to make more money. The ads and pop culture in movies, songs, poetry published within any digital screens are the driving force behind this continued lore. It is just the perfect conductor to nourish the idea worldwide. Everything with love and romance will always definitely catch the attention of the tender hearts. As a result, Valentine’s Day today is celebrated not only in the western countries but also in Eastern countries. Yes… it is undeniably a huge cash machine that generates billions of dollars. But do you know that the origin of St Valentine's Day, is actually dark, bloody — and a bit muddled.



http://www.npr.org/2011/02/14/133693152/the-dark-origins-of-valentines-day


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/relationships/valentines-day/7187784/History-of-Valentines-Day.html


Personally, I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. Nor do I have any objection or any grudge for those who celebrate it. It’s a matter of personal preference. It’s just that I don’t see any point of celebrating the day. Love is every day celebration whether it’s parental love, friendship love, or respectful love, you name any. It has nothing to do with my Faith (although, Faith has its part on me, lol). Rather, I see such festivity is just way too much, corny, and too bloody exaggerated in my point of view of eastern culture. It’s just out of place. Seeing celebrities boast of their ways in spending their V-Day in infotainments, couples present their precious gifts and throw hugs and kisses in public is just not befitting. It’s like hearing a song out of its tune, irritating and a bit annoying, lol. For young Indonesians who live in big cities like Jakarta, Surabaya, or Bandung, they know exactly how to rejoice the day. It’s a love time! They will be busy choosing the right gifts for their beloved; the red roses? The heart shaped-chocolate? Or the beautifully carved pink V-Day card inserted in a bouquet. Oh yeah… love birds are in every corner of Jakarta on this 14th of Feb.


However, it's rather silly to hold V-Day celebration responsible for the badly decline on the morals of the young generation today as accused by some religious hardliners. The root cause is much deeper that such festivity ranging from the bad side effects of globalisation, modernization, etc. So long, it is not adressed properly, the decline will be worsening over times. You can't just curb any personal preference or ban someone to do something that is not against the law. I think it's wiser to instill religious values, ethics, and morality to our young generation so that they know what choices to make in life. Instead of putting them in 'a cage' by banning them from things we consider bring harms and damage, we should prepare, equip, and train them with sufficient 'ammunitions' to enable them fight their own battle and win :-).



Sometimes, I can’t help wondering whether they know the history of the Valentine Day they celebrate or not. I mean to memorialize something, you need to know the meaning or why it is deemed necessary to honor such a day. It should be something ingrained within our consciousness so that we can properly pay tribute to such occasion. It is not about following the trend, or just goes along the trend to stay up to date, and regarded as modern. If such is the case, then it will be easier for the huge sales of commercial companies to lay traps on you. You will end up buying things you don’t really require. Your spending will increase which means your savings will be less while the companies are growing fatter in their bellies because people like us feed them unconsciously. Back to V-Day, I don’t encourage people especially youngsters and teenagers to celebrate the day solely because it is deemed modern and up to date. It’s a matter of personal preference. It’s up to you to decide the good and the bad sides of any choice you take. Yet, I think it’s wise to ask yourselves before you take part in such festivity whether is it truly love you celebrate? Or are you just following the trend of the so called popular culture? Worse, are you just victims of the gigantic commercial sales ads to generate more money? If you don’t celebrate, you will be branded as old fashioned, out of date. To be modern, you have to absorb anything western in your life style. Well… I don’t think so. I mean not everything from the West is good and fit to our world. There are things we should follow and apply to our life. But, there are also things that is just enough for us to know but shouldn’t follow. What we need to do is exploit the good things of everything and leave behind the bad ones.


So, if you ask me what I think of V-Day, well, you know already my answer. It’s just out of place in my world. In addition, I think it’s a bit out of tune to celebrate an event having its origin still in question or a bit unclear. Isn’t every day is love? Lol … Instead of sharing the superficiality of the notion of spending one day in sharing affection with loved ones, why can’t we show our loved ones how much we care everyday?