Grieve Not Forever My Friend

You stood in silence,


Mourning over your lost love,

Till your tears have reached the seas,

And words were drown in crashing waves,

Seagulls shrieked in unison upon the shore,

... As you said him your final goodbye,

Sooner, the earth would take him in her sweet tenderness,



Stands of your coal black hair fell over your face,

Eyes locked far into the horizon,

Over the golden tendrils licking the reddish skies,

Frozen in such state of beautiful grace,

Before twilight reigned the universe,

Just like the eclipse of your heart,

When the love of your life went to heaven,



Dearest friend of mine,

Let me hold you close,

Be your shoulders to cry on,

Grieve along over your sorrows and woes,

Yet, let me say words I’ve heard from wisemen,

The night would soon be replaced by morn’

Twilight would soon be replaced by dawn,



Part of him would live on,

forever carved deep inside your heart,

The days keep coming without fail

A new wind is gonna find your sail

That's where your journey starts,

And I will come all the way down with you,

As we remember him with such clarity,

He will forever be within our hearts,



(dedicated to my beloved Friend, Faridda Mutimmah who had just lost her husband today)

KRL Oh KRL ... Tetap Dicinta Meskipun Sering Dicela

Saat terbangun pagi ini, bumi masih berselimut gelap ditingkahi gerimis yang mengalir tipis. Nampaknya, sang hujan yang telah mengguyur sejak semalam masih belum puas menumpahkan rindunya yang mengiris. Udara dingin menyergap tulang saat air wudhu menyentuh kulit. Hujan pagi yang identik dengan macet di Jakarta sontak menyegerakanku melipat selimut dan bergegas cepat. Dalam hitungan menit pun, suami tercinta yang gesit, menerjang kabut pagi dan membelah jalan yang mulai dipadati kendaraan pribadi, motor, atau pun angkot. Untungnya, gerimis telah menyingkir pergi seakan malu menatap rona mentari pagi yang mulai tersenyum manis. Alhamdulillah, sesampainya di stasiun, Komuter Line Depok-Jakarta keberangkatan 5.57 belum datang sehingga ada harapan dapat tempat duduk meskipun harus berebut. Maklum, sifat KRL yang moody alias suka-sukanya, seringkali memaksaku berdiri satu jam atau lebih jika terjadi gangguan atau ada KRL ngadat. Saat kereta merapat ke peron, dengan sigap aku melompat, dan berlomba dengan puluhan roker (sebutan keren ROmbongan KEReta) saling memepet dan menyerempet. Tidak sia-sia berangkat lebih awal, saat aku berhasil duduk manis di sebelah Bapak tua yang bersepatu karet.




Seperti biasa kereta penuh sesak, dan aku menenggelamkan diri dalam pusaran cerita novel terbitan terbaru novelis kesayangan. Kereta mulai mendengus menuju Jakarta, derikan roda dan rel makin keras karena penumpangnya penuh sesak, berjejal, dan berhimpit-himpitan. Di setiap stasiun, naga besi ini pun kembali berhenti dan membius para roker dengan hisapan liak liuknya yang menjanjikan perjalanan bebas hambatan tercepat. Selang 20 menit, udara di dalam gerbong semakin pengap dan lengket. Saat itulah, aku baru tersadar bahwa selepas stasiun Lenteng Agung, naga besi ini mulai memelankan liukannya seakan tersedak besi panas. AC pun mati sehingga mengubah gerbong penuh sesak ini menjadi sauna gratis. Sebagian roker mulai gelisah dan dengan kipas seadanya mulai berusaha menghalau hawa panas yang mengganas. Pria perlente yang dari awal berdiri tepat di depanku mulai sibuk menelpon kantornya sambil mendengus kesal karena terpaksa datang terlambat. Sebagian lain mulai sibuk mencari informasi gerangan apakah yang terjadi lewat smart phone, BBM, atau pun sms. Seperti biasa, petugas PT KAI yang mengendalikan naga besi ini seakan menutup mata, telinga, dan mulut. Para roker seakan dibiarkan terlantar tanpa informasi apa pun, apalagi ungkapan sepatah kata maaf. Walhasil, banyak gosip berhembus kencang, mulai dari adanya gangguan listrik di Stasiun Tanjung Barat, gangguan sinyal kereta karena hujan, sampai kereta ekonomi yang mogok sebelum sempat merapat.


Sejam berlalu sudah. Naga besi masih anteng dalam dengkuran sementara para roker mulai dicekam rasa cemas. Mentari pagi mulai meradang galak saata sinarnya menyengat kulit yang terpapar. Bau gerbong yang awalnya masih semerbak wangi karena aroma deodorant, parfum, dan cologne yang masih fresh, kini berubah asem dan apek bercampur dengan keringat yang membanjir deras. Bau campur aduk ini semakin menambah pengap hawa sehingga memaksa penumpang membuka paksa sejumlah jendela. Ah…lega rasanya saat udara luar yang relatif masih segar menyergap masuk. Sejurus kemudian, naga besi menggeliat. Sontak penumpang bersorak girang, dan hilang rasa was-was. Namun, kekecewaan kembali menghantam pedas saat sang naga besi kembali membisu, merampas harapan yang sempat tergores.


Jarum jam menunjukkan pukul 08.00. Dua jam sudah, para roker tersandera dalam perut sang naga besi yang semakin memanas. Menunggu tanpa kepastian dan kejelasan memang merupakan suatu bentuk siksaan yang sadis. Apalagi, dengan kondisi udara yang pengap dan berdiri berjam-jam tanpa bisa bergerak bebas. Perut pun mulai protes karena belum terisi dari pagi. Kondisi yang memprihatinkan ini memaksa sebagian penumpang berpindah haluan. Ada yang ‘mutung’ alias patah arang dan kembali pulang. Ada yang masih bersemangat baja, dan mencoba mencari alternatif angkutan lain menuju kantor. Ada pula yang masih bertahan seperti saya ditemani imajinasi novel sembari menunggu naga besi terbangun. Detik, menit, dan jam pun berlalu. Gerbong kereta pun mulai melenggang sepi karena ditinggalkan para roker. Saat jam menunjuk angka 08.35, sang naga besi pun akhirnya tersentak bangun dan mulai melaju kencang. Decit bunyi roda besi beradu dengan rel ditingkahi klakson masinis yang nyaring menggema. “Tut..tut..tut..tut,” gelegar sang naga besi hingga akhirnya berhasil berlabuh di Stasiun Tanjung Barat, dan Pasar Minggu. Bukannya menipis, jumlah penumpang bahkan semakin membludak melebihi kapasitas hingga meluber sampai ke atap. Hawa semakin panas, peluh membanjir deras, dan kaki semakin menegang keras. Dari sudut ekor mataku, sempat kulihat seorang ibu muda jatuh pingsan sesampai di stasiun Duren Kalibata. Sebagian lain mencoba bertahan meskipun penat dan pegel menghantam dengan beringas. Meskipun seluruh badannya ditunggagi para roker yang emosinya mengganas, sang naga besi masih mampu melenggok anggun dengan kecepatan nan tinggi.


Sesampai Stasiun Sudirman, para roker langsung merangsek keluar. Peluh yang membanjir terseka sepoi angin pagi yang masih berbaik hati menggalir pelan. Perjuangan masih belum berhenti sampai di sini karena para roker harus bergegas berganti moda transportasi lain menuju tempat kerja. Sebagian masih sibuk mencari surat keterangan ke petugas stasiun yang menegaskan adanya keterlambatan kereta untuk diserahkan ke atasan sebagai pendukung absensi yang meradang merah. Sebagian lain melesat bak anak panah mengejar metromini atau kopaja yang lewat. Siapa sangka bangun pagi buta dan berangkal lebih awal justeru berakhir dengan ‘datang terlambat.’ PT KAI seperti biasa selalu memutar lagu lama alias ‘ngeles abis’ atas keluhan buruknya pelayanan dan jadwal yang selalu molor. Para roker sebagai konsumen yang dirugikan lagi-lagi harus menelan pil pahit bahwa keluhan klasik akan selamanya dilayangkan tanpa hasil meskipun telah puluhan tahun membuktikan kesetian dan keloyalan mereka sebagai roker sejati. Ibaratnya para roker ini sudah terlanjur cinta mati dengan sang pujaan hati, si naga besi, namun sang jantung hati ‘ogah-ogahan’ karena merasa menang di atas angin. Para roker cuma bisa berucap “aku masih cinta” meskipun tanpa kepastian kapan pelayanan PT KAI akan meningkat .

Catching Fire...

Catching Fire is the second book of Suzanne Collins’ The Hunger Games trilogy. All the good qualities in the first book still echoes throughout this sequel. Catching Fire brings on the flame, hurtling through the revelations and heart-stopping twist. Once reading the book, it’s hard to put it down...You want to know how it ends... You might even suffer an adrenaline rush as the story moves on. It's just as exciting and electrifying as The Hunger Games. Whereas, in the first novel, Katniss, has to struggle all by herself to preserve her life, in this sequel, she has to build alliance with other tributes to save Peeta’s life. Unlike Rue, her alliances in here are much more deliberate and intentional. That's what makes it hard sometimes to watch the characters dear to us get killed one by one since we have developed certain affection for them during the alliance. Although the plot is partially a replication of the first book, it differs in setting, supporting characters, and atmosphere nuanced politically. The second game is deliberately designed to crush the symbol of rebellion, Katniss Everdeen-the Mockingjay, through Quartel Quell. It is a reminder for all districts in Panem "that even the strongest amongst them fall down". Therefore, the surrounding situation in the games gives more nerve-racking stroke and every action, big or small, has meaning and serious repercussions.




Having returned to their home District, Katniss and Peeta were haunted by nightmares of the brutal deaths in the arena. Their guaranteed comfort and luxurious life following their victory was hardly triumphant, knowing that President Snow was keeping keen eyes on their every move. The source of Snow’s outrage was Katniss’ defiance during the first game. Her act of defiance in attempting a double suicide at the end of the Games forced the Gamemaker to allow both her and Peeta to live. Without her awareness, she has now become a symbol for rebellion in the Districts. The dire circumstances worsened because Katniss was confused by her feelings for Peeta and Gale, her hunting partner and oldest friend.

During The Victory Tour designed to remind the people in the Districts of the power of the Capitol, Katniss and Peeta had done acts that provoked sparks of riot in District 11, home for Rue and Thresh. Peeta had offered to donate a portion of his Victory winnings to Rue's family, and also Thresh's, the other fallen District 11 tribute. When their speeches concluded, an old man whistled the tune that Rue used in the Hunger Games arena to signal Katniss she was safe. The song prompted everyone to salute Katniss with the same gesture she used to bid farewell to Rue. It wasn’t long for them to realize that this action would bring repercussion to those they loved. Other uprisings have broken in several districts where life was much more oppressed. Panem was on the brink of chaos. President Snow was ever determined to quench these uprisings.

Before long, President Snow announced that, for the 75th Hunger Games, as part of the "Quarter Quell”, a special edition of the Games every quarter-century, tributes would be reaped from a pool of all living Victors of past Hunger Games, one male and one female from each district. It was obvious the changing rule targeted Katniss as retribution since she was the only living female survivor from 12. When Haymitch, their mentor, was chosen as male tribute, Peeta volunteered in his place to protect Katniss. Desperate to prepare, the trio began training and studying the winning tactics of past victors. To survive, Haymitch, strongly advised them to take allies of other tributes.

Arriving at the Capitol, Katniss and Peeta got to learn about the other tributes among others Finnick Odair, a 24-year-old man who successfully survived the Games at age 14, and Mags, Finnick's 80-year-old mentor who voluntereed for Annie (Finick’s girlfriend), both from District 4. They also made alliance with Beetee and Wiress, older tributes from District 3 who were said to be "exceptionally smart" and adept at working with electronics. Also they met Johanna Mason who had a unique character, and despised the Capitol bluntly. Before the Games resumed, Peeta, desperate to save Katniss, revealed to the audience, that Katniss was pregnant. It was a lie to win the hearts of the audience, to gain symphaty for her.

China was still appointed as Katniss’ Prep team who as always designed unforgettable and extraordinary outfit for her. As a protest of her being forced into the arena again, China designed a Mockingjay costume which instantly sparked anger over the Capitol. Katniss also learnt that the former Gamemaker, Seneca Crane, was hung after the first game. During the party, she met the new Gamemaker, Plutarch Heavensbee, who within a brief moment showed her a mockingjay watch. She was later realized how the arena of the game was devised. Seconds before her launch to the arena, Katniss was forced to see China beaten and bloodied by the peacekeepers. It was an act of repercussion resulting from his defiance of creating mockingjay outfit.

In the arena, Katniss was soon joined by Finnick whom the readers easily to love. He's the flamboyant casanova. Several times, he helped saving Peeta's life. His loyalty to protect Mags touched the readers' heart. It was heartbreaking to see him helpless to choose Peeta or Mags until Mags sacrificed herself for Peeta. Soon, their alliance was joined by Johana, Betee and Wires. Together, they had to outsmart the clock-woven arena, and fought other tributes from district 1, 2 and 3. Each time zone was trapped with devious cruel torments to kill them. The game makers controlled the vast, forested arena: they’re announcing the death of a tribute, organising sweeping poisonous forest fog or releasing terrifying monkey mutations. It only heightened our awareness of how cruel and callous the Games really were, as the gamers deliberately set out to inflict horrific deaths on the tributes. As the story progressed, Katniss realized something was amist in the alliance. The others were keeping secrets from her and Peeta. She found out only after it was too late.



All in all, I love the book as much as the first. It keeps me reading for days before I finish, and wants for more. Collins is brilliant in adapting the classic horrifying combination of gladiatorial combat and reality TV that really squeeze her readers’ emotion.

Broken

my heart burst in agony,
unbearable pain of uncertainty,
O,  how we end up in this endless circle of confusion,
having no idea of the state we were in,
whether love stil existed within,
while our beings were farther apart,

O, how it hurts a lot,
as if tons rocks collapsed on top of us,
of not knowing each other after what we've been through,
of the love that won't last,
leaving trails of scars and broken heart,
when we stand so close but souls get so distant,


I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness,
that makes things so much worse,
O, but how can I curb my mortal needs,
for being the source of my flame,
when you slowly extiguish the fire,
how can I not walk away,

O, how it hurts a lot,
when the flame dies away,
and you still cling on me,
how can I not fall into pieces,

Beautiful Heart

How can a heart contain of so much pain,

carved in rough jagged edges,
mutilated in so many pieces,
leaving spaces to fill in,
yet, it shines and keeps on beating
just waiting right there,
for other pieces to patch the empty space,
insignia of love and give,




How can a heart pulsate in such vigor,
while it keeps on bleeding red,
no matter how much patches stitched to seal the wound,
it never hesitates to cut a piece of the already charred heart,
expecting nothing in return,
yet, despite the many scars,
its beauty radiates and glows,
offering lights even in the darkest days

Mengemis: Sebuah Potret Kemiskinan atau Kemalasan?

"Lebih baik seseorang bekerja dengan mengumpulkan seikat kayu bakar di punggungnya dibanding dengan seseorang yang meminta-minta (mengemis) lantas ada yang memberi atau enggan memberi sesuatu padanya." (HR. Bukhari)





Bola kristal itu pecah menjadi tetesan embun, yang meretas menjadi guratan tipis bening di permukaan wajah ovalnya tatkala menatap wajah lelaki tirus itu. Dengan telaten, lelaki paruh baya tersebut meracik bubur kacang ijo pesanan kami. Sembari menyeka butiran kristal bening, Kirani menghempaskan badannya di rerumputan pinggir jalan tempat kami memberhentikannya. Keringat yang tadi mengucur deras saat lari pagi pun per lahan menguap saat senyum tipis mengembang di wajahnya, dan mulailah ia bercakap dengan lelaki sahaja tersebut.


Mengalir lugaslah ceritanya tentang perjalanan hidupnya. Bagaimana selama hampir 15 tahun ia mengandalkan mata pencahariannya sebagai penjual bubur kacang ijo keliling. Selama dasawarsa itu, dengan penuh asa ia memikul ‘angkring’ bubur di kedua bahunya yang sekarang mulai melemah. Beban berat puluhan tahun itu merentakan bahunya sehingga nampak membongkok. Bau minyak tanah menyergap hidung, dan dari sudut ekor mata, kulihat kompor minyak mungil mengarat hitam untuk menjaga bubur tetap panas. Setumpuk mangkuk putih diletakkan diatas angkring sejajar dengan setoples santan di sudut atas. Semerbak harum kacang ijo dan ketan hitam sontak membaur dengan aroma minyak..ehm, membawa kenangan masa kecil saat Ibu memasak menggunakan kompor minyak, dan nenek di gunung dengan tungku tradisional :-).


Meskipun senyum menghias wajah senjanya saat bercerita, kami dapat merasakan manis getir perjuangannya. Sejak pertama kali menginjakkan kaki di kampung ini saat menumpang hidup di rumah kakak tahun 2001, Bapak sahaja ini telah berulang kali menyusuri gang sempit tempat kami tinggal. “Ting…ting…ting..ting…” bunyi dentingan mangkuk yang dipukul sebagai pertanda kehadirannya setiap akhir pekan. Seringkali Bapak sahaja ini memakai kemeja cream yang warnanya telah memudar diseling dengan sejumlah lubang kecil. Sandal jepit yang dipakainya pun telah melebar dan menipis. Tidak heran, Kirani yang berhati lembut ini pun tersentuh rasa haru saat kami berpapasan pagi ini. Profesi sebagai tukang bubur keliling dijalaninya untuk menopang kehidupan istri tercinta bersama ketiga buah hatinya yang kini telah masuk SMP dan SMK. Dengan penghasilan kurang dari Rp. 50.000,-/hari, berjalan kaki puluhan kilo keluar masuk gang setiap sudat kampung dengan beban berkilo-kilo di pundaknya, tentu saja hasil yang didapat masih kurang untuk membiayai sekolah maupun menutup kebutuhan sehari-harinya. Untungnya, istrinya pandai mengatur keuangan sehingga meskipun kecil tapi kehidupan mereka masih dapat berjalan meskipun kadang tersenggal di tengah jalan. “Selama badan ini masih sanggup, pantang menyerah, Bu. Tuhan sudah menggariskan rizki kita, tergantung bagaimana kita menjemputnya.” Ucapnya penuh kebanggaan saat menutup kisahnya. Kulihat mata bening Kirani mulai mengabut kembali sebagai tanda kristal itu akan mengalir lagi. Ada rasa haru menyentuh qalbu saat mendengar lakon lelaki sahaja tersebut, sebuah perjuangan indah untuk menafkahi keluarga dan rasa malu untuk menadahkan tangan. Setelah mengucapkan terima kasih dan membayar bubur pesanan kami, Bapak sahaja itu pun kembali melanjutnya perjalanan panjangnya menjemput rizki. Tentu saja, Kirani menyelipkan selembar uang lebih dan saat terlihat senyum penuh haru di wajah renta itu, senyum tulus temanku ini kembali terkulum indah.



“Benar-benar Bapak yang mengagumkan ya. Bandingkan dengan para pengemis yang badannya masih bugar tanpa cacat fisik apa pun yang sering kita jumpai di jalanan.” Ucapnya lirih sembari melontarkan pandangan ke arah lelaki sahaja yang mulai menghilang di tikungan jalan. “Lebih indah memberi pada mereka yang benar-benar membutuhkan dan mau kerja keras.” Selorohnya sambil menggamit lenganku menuju rumah kami yang kebetulan berdekatan. Melihat wajahnya yang anggun dan teduh, aku yakin ia sedang memikirkan rencana terkait Bapak sahaja tadi…ehm, memang ia sering mengejutkanku dengan hal-hal kecil yang indah…J. Terbayang minggu depan kembali ia merencanakan mencegat Bapak tadi…ehm, tentunya memberi sesuatu yang bisa meringankan bebannya…sepeda atau gerobak bubur J sehinggga pundaknya yang telah renta dapat lepas dari siksa J. “Lebih baik memberi kail sehingga orang dapat menggunakannya untuk mendapatkan ikan dan terlepas dari ketergantungan, daripada memberikan ikan yang membuatnya tetap tergantung pada kita.” Ucap Kirani pada suatu waktu.



Sepulang lari pagi, kuminta suami mengantarkan ke pasar tradisional di bawah fly over Depok yang jaraknya lumayan jauh dari rumah. Demi mencoba resep dendeng kolega kantor, aku tetap semangat dibonceng motor di tengah sorotan ganas sang matahari yang membakar J. Seperti biasa, suami menunggu di area parkir, sementara aku mulai berbelanja berdesakan dan berpeluh ria dengan para ibu yang memadati pasar. Terlihat sejumlah anak kecil yang menawarkan jasa angkat atau pun kantung kresek seharga Rp. 500,- / lembar. Ehm…sayangnya belanjaanku tidaklah terlalu banyak. Eit…namun saat ingat wajah melankolis temanku tadi pagi, akhirnya kubeli satu dengan menyelipkan uang lebih ke tangan mungil bocah tanggung berusia sekita 10 tahunan. Benar saja, binar wajahnya begitu indah sehingga menular juga ke qalbu…hehehehehe.



Nah, sebelum menyeberang rel, ada pengemis tua renta yang selalu duduk di sebelah bapak penjual ikan asin penghuni tetap gang sempit pinggiran rel. Ehm…ada dilema dalam hati antara memberi atau tidak. Namun, melihat kondisi fisiknya yang memang nampaknya tidak memungkinkan lagi untuk bekerja, kembali kusisihkan selembar uang di mangkuk lelaki renta ini. Tentu perasaan berbeda merambah sukma, bukan rasa indah namun rasa iba.



Kupercepat langkah kaki saat menyeberang rel, menuju tukang daging langganan. Saat sedang tawar menawar daging, seorang ibu paruh baya mencolek lenganku sembari menyorongkan mangkuk putihnya. Setiap kali pergi ke pasar ini, aku selalu berpapasan dengannya. Badannya masih terlihat segar dan kuat, langkah kakinya masih kokoh. Aku bayangkan dulu ibuku seusianya masih tetap bekerja keras, bangun tengah malam memulai aktivitas paginya dan pergi ke pasar berjualan. Berusaha sesopan mungkin, kuberikan sinyal bahwa aku tidak bisa memberinya uang lebih. Ibu itu pun berlalu tanpa sepatah kata pun. Sejurus kemudian kulihat Ibu tersebut tawar menawar dengan penjual ayam tidak jauh dari tempatku berdiri. Wah…ternyata Ibu tadi mampu membeli seeokor ayam utuh dengan recehan dua ribuan yang dikeluarkan dari dompet lusuhnya. Perasaan yang muncul kali ini? Ehm… Miris bercampur dongkol. Bagaimana tidak, lelaki sahaja yang kutemui pagi tadi harus memikul beban berat puluhan kilo dan menyusuri puluhan gang demi meraup uang 30 sampai 50 ribu. Sementara Ibu pengemis di pasar yang masih kuat ini hanya berbekal sebuah mangkok lusuh. Sungguh miris melihatnya.



Betapa sering kita dihadapkan dilema saat berhadapan dengan puluhan pengemis yang mengular di sepanjang jalan ke stasiun kereta, perempatan lampu merah, atau pun stasiun, bahkan di depan rumah ibadah. Ada rasa mengusik hati, apakah gambaran ini merupakan potret kemiskinan sebagian umat di negeri ini ataukah potret kemalasan. Meminta-minta bagi mereka yang masih sangguh untuk mencari nafkah tentunya merupakan ciri mentalitas pemalas, yang ingin mendapatkan uang tanpa mau bekerja keras dan hanya memanfaatkan kebaikan orang-orang. Mendapatkan uang dengan cara instan tentunya merupakan godaan, dan banyak yang jatuh dalam perangkap ini. Namun, kita lebih tersentuh dengan kegigihan dan perjuangan para ibu dan lelaki sahaja yang selalu percaya bahwa memberi nafkah kepada keluarga lewat kerja keras adalah lebih terpuji dibanding hanya dengan mandahkan tangan. Apa pun itu, satu hal yang pasti bahwa memberi itu lebih baik daripada meminta :-).







Hadits riwayat Hakim bin Hizam Radhiyallahu’anhu: Bahwa Rasulullah Shallallahu alaihi wassalam bersabda: Sedekah yang paling utama atau sedekah yang paling baik adalah sedekah dari harta yang cukup. Tangan yang di atas lebih baik dari tangan yang di bawah. Mulailah dari orang yang engkau tanggung (nafkahnya).

Mockingjay: "There's no Victory without Humanity"

Mockingjay is the finale novel in dystopian fantasies of The Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins. Once again Suzanne Collins has not let her readers down with the adventure of the 17-year-old protagonist, Katniss Everdeen, bringing a heart- wrenching conclusion to the tale of a country in chaos. You can’t stop reading, once begun… Mockingjay is not as impeccably plotted as The Hunger Games, but none­theless retains its fierce, chilly fascination which offers every bit the pressure cooker of its forebears. Nevertheless, I find the book bloodier, more deaths on both sides, more twisted characters, and more grey areas that compel readers to think that ‘good’ and ‘evil’ is far too complicated, not just a distinguished color of black or white. More elaborate gadgets, gizmos, and creatures (mutations) are devised for means of torments or death, among others genetically altered wasps called tracker jackers that can hijack memories and distort them to change the very essence of who a person is, and mutts trained to track down and destroy enemies in horrifying graphic ways, creating a simultaneously disturbing and fun book to read. As always, it brings tears to read a sweet innocent child being killed and sacrificed to gain twisted victory, like Prue in Hunger Games. In the end, Katniss fails to save her sister (Prim) whom she intends to protect and safeguard from the start of her volunteering in the games, and learns the bitter truth that the rebels are just as morally ambiguous as Panem’s leaders. As Katniss herself says in ­“Mockingjay,” “There are much worse games to play.” Absolutely my fondness of Katniss, a headstrong nihilist grows more in this book. Unlike the common stereotyped heroine, she’ becomes a heroine not because she fights next to a male hero, but she fights on her own terms, and in fact she feels protective over the people she loves ad cares about including her male partners and strangers alike, particularly the helpless and weak. She can be a fatal nihilist and stubborn egoist, but her brighter sides always win. She is sharp and deadly as the arrows in her quiver, yet she has compassionate heart. Her heroism isn’t necessarily something that’s played up as sexy.




“Mockingjay” was a symbol for the rebel cause in Panem. During the Dark Days, the Capitol genetically engineered jabberjays, all-male spying birds that were capable of memorizing conversations and bringing the information back, able to repeat it in a human voice to crush down the rebels. However, once the rebels realized their conversations were being transmitted, they used the jabberjays against the Capitol, sending back false information to lead them astray and fooled. Knowing, they were used against it, the Capitol abandoned the breed and left them in the wild to die. Yet, it was commonly known that extraordinary wildlife almost never doing what we expect, male jabberjays bred with female mockingbirds, giving birth to the mockingjay. This new breeds could repeat both human melodies and birdsong and were thus better able to protect themselves. Mockingjay, then, was perceived as a symbol of hope and survival among the people of Panem. When Madge Undersee gave Katniss a mockingjay pin, she merely saw it as a symbol of solidarity across economic lines (she’s the District 12 Mayor’s daughter, Katniss is the daughter of a coal miner) in a thankless struggle. It’s what Katniss did with that image over the course of the three books that was important and elevated the mockingjay from passive to active symbol, and it’s Katniss herself as the Mockingjay that inspired people. From the moment, she held up the ‘berries’ (nightlock), President Snow saw her as really ‘the girl on fire’, a girl who could ignite fire who might inflame widespread inferno in the nation if not tamed and controlled.



"Mockingjay" begins with Katniss Everdeen rambling through the wreckage of her district 12 hometown during the dreary aftermath of "Catching Fire”, tripping over skulls and breathing in the ashes of the incinerated bodies that used to be her neighbors. More than 90% of those neighbors were dead; the rest have been relocated to district 13, an area that was thought to be abandoned but was very much alive led by President Coin. Katniss was in desperate need to revisit the place to hold on to something that made her intact after the grievous Quarter Quell. The Capitol had destroyed her life, carving endless nightmares and terrible ache in her soul. She was rescued from the arena of Hunger Games along with Finnick Odair under the instruction of President Coin because she wanted to use her as a human symbol for rebellion to unite the 12 districts with 13. For people in other districts, from the moment she sang the song for the dying Rue and defied the Gamemaker to have double winners, she became their mockingjay. Rue trusted her once she saw a mockingjay pin she wore. However, Katniss was sick of being constantly used as pawns in a chess game. Her only desire was to be left alone with her family, resuming her normal life. Meanwhile, Peeta was taken captive by President Snow along with other tributes in Quarter Quell. He was tortured and hijacked so that he looked at Katniss as his greatest nemesis. The uncertainty of his fate devastated her more that she thought. She was still torn by her feeling for Gale and Peeta. Unsure of her role and feelings, she kept weighing her options in district 13. Forced to live underground for 75 years, district 13's residents have spurred the present uprising. They see Katniss as symbol of their Mockingjay who had power to rile up the rest of the districts and overthrow the pale-skinned President Snow.



Desperate to save Peeta, Katniss willingly took on the role of Media Darling under the condition that all victors from the Hunger Games be granted immunity, and that she got to kill President Snow herself. As always, Katniss was not much of media type of a person. She came to life only after involving herself in real life actions, not just a mere human symbol who read texts/footages dictated by Coin. She showed no interest in being a poster girl. She simply wanted to be part of the work of rebellion in organizing and fighting. She came to life on camera once she resumed such real role in real action and continued to inspire rebel news footage because of her genuine care for others, and her desire to kill President Snow herself. Such media influence showed how accurate portrayal of how propaganda could be used by either (or both) sides of a conflict to further their cause, as well as the importance of a charismatic spokesperson, or a human symbol, to a movement.



As the story progressed, readers saw from Katniss’ eyes, that Coin’ rebel against Snow wasn’t as simple as Good v.s. Evil. There were always the shades of grey. Both sides of a conflict could use or misuse their symbols, and Katniss Everdeen was used. President Coin might have started out with Panem’s best interests at heart, but she was damaged and corrupted when her objectives outweigh humanity. Her methods of using any means necessary, including killing the innocents to secure greater victory, lost integrity along the way. Coin and Snow was two sides of a coin. Unlike them, Katniss always put humanity above others. It was the foundation that shaped her intentions, motivations, and actions. Any action she took based on her sound conscience. She wanted people to live in freedom, free of any coercion and fear. There would never be victory without humanity. When Prim was tragically killed, she was on the verge of madness and despair. It was a finale to decide of who her true nemesis was, Coin or Snow.



All in all, I absolutely love Mockingjay, love the three dystopian saga, and Suzanne Collins is really a genius. I love Katnis Everdeen, the memorable heroine struggling to do the right thing in the public gaze. I love Prim and Prue. The trilogy keeps me thinking of situation in my surroundings, including working place. Once, a leader is corrupted, weighing objectives more than humanity, taking any means necessary to gain his/her goal, then there will only be chaos.