I'LL SEE YOU IN HEAVEN!

I’ve heard another blast…the sound F-16 jet fighter flew low over my home, an already damaged 5-story apartment. Another shelling raked the ground massively, creating black smoke emanating from below. It dropped scores of fragments and spread suffocating smoke. If it were black, there was little worry. What I feared was the white deadly phosperous bombs being launched. I could not imagine my Salwa and Yekia got infected by such horrific weapon. When it touched your skin mixed with the oxygen, you would suffer a horrific burnt. It could burn away human flesh to the bone. That’s what I’ve seen on the 12^th day of our incursion… I saw that horror in front of my eyes. Nader’s flesh melted like a rubber heated in fire. There was an unspeakable agony in his drooping eyes…the way he looked at me. With his last breath he screamed “seal the door and get away from the white smoke…”. My two children were now twitching, jerking, and trembling in my arms. We were all huddled in the corner of kitchen, trying to stay away as far as possible from the door and window. I looked them in the eyes. A spasm of pain electrocuted my heart. What a mother could do in such desperate time to save her children? I felt helpless. There was no place safe in Gaza. We could not get out because all borders were closed. We just waited to die inside either from the attack or for the hunger. No humanity heard our voice. My tears had dried out. My heart was numb with pain. It died away alongside with humanity. I held them close and recited some divine verses to their ears. Our life was now in the mercy of Allah. I whispered softly …”don’t worry children, we’re going to be all right…close your eyes and ignored the rest.” I kissed them over and over again…”I’ll see you in heaven, children!”

***

“Marry, put off the cigarette, please! It’s not safe under air shelling and bombings like this!”

“Oh, damn it, George! Mind your own business. This smoke makes me relax under pressures like this. It’s not my cigarette you should worry about. It’s those F-16 shits up there! You know what, I should have been relaxing my muscles in sauna with David in London by now. But look! Here I am now, down in the death alleys, risking my damn life for these poor. Because no one gives a shit. Neither the White House nor the Saudi!”

George laughed at the cynical remark thrown by his colleague. Somehow, underneath her sarcastic words, he could sense her tender heart. Marry Sue Anderson had flew from London to join the Red Cross to Gaza. The city was besieged and incurred for more than two weeks. Only God knew for how long the bombardments would stop. Many civilians, mostly mothers and children, died. It was a huge massacre field. No one could get in, no one could get out. It was a despairing situation.

“Jesus, Christ! Are they idiot? They’re trying to hit us! Watch out George! Turn left!” Marry screamed frantically when a blast of fire directed to their ambulance. George speedily managed to escape the hit but consequently the missile hit the Red Cross Truck behind them. A huge explosion and a huge vacuum was generated that sent shockwaves through the surrounding structures. The truck blazed in scorching fire.

“F***! Jesus, help us! Malik, Aziz!” George ran to the glaring truck, trying to find any signs of life. The heat forbad him to come closer. Marry was still in a shock. Her forehead bled from the broken window shield. She struggled to maintain her balance when she hopped to the ground.

“Do they make it?” She asked bitterly, realizing no one could survive such blaze. Thick black smoke rose over around the crime scene. The hum of F-16 still heard buzzing around the vicinity. Shellings from the artillery sent massive bedlam.

“They’re alive! George cried in amazement. He hurried to two figures emerging behind the fire. Their shape was not good but they managed to walk slowly. One man suspended another’s weight on his shoulder.

“Malik severely wounded on his legs! We need help here, Marry!” George commanded. He put Malik on the ground carefully and examined his legs.

“I’ll be all right! There’s been shelling and bombings in the Zeitun neihgbourhood. You should rescue the wounded!” Malik said in a grave voice. Blood covered his shirt and trousers.

“Non sense! We will not leave you here! Look at your legs! They’re awful. They need immediate care!”Marry reasoned. She helped George making the first aid.

“Insyallah, God’s willing, I’ll be fine! More people need your help out there! No one heard their screams but us! Please, friends, leave me here. Pick me up when you’re on your way! May Allah bless you.

“Aziz?” Geoge asked.

“I say we have to continue! May Allah be with you, brother? We will return to pick you up.” Aziz kissed him on the forehead, squeezing his palms and left.

Reluctantly, the three left Malik on the safe spot near the area. His severely smashed legs had been given first aid help. They continued their trip towards Zeitoun to search for some survivors.

***

“Yekia, where are you? It’s dark here, I could not see you!”

“Just stay where you are Salwa. I’ll be downright over there soon! Whatever you do, don’t move until I told you so!” Yekia shouted to his sister. He was trying to explore his shattered apartment to find his mother, the only family he saw alive a few hours ago. He crawled carefully under the fallen debris and fire to get out from his room. He could smell flesh burnt and blood. His move was hampered by dead bodies. Some of them were his friends; face burnt down and dried blood everywhere. Some, he could not recognize. They died together in one room, huddled like fisheries dried in the scorching sun. There were eight or ten bodies he could count. He felt immediate nausea. He vomited for minutes. Terror reigned over him before he could hear his mother saying “Be strong for your sister, Yekia. Find the way out!” He looked around; saw no one but dead corpses. A few meters away, he could see the light. The dim sunlight had pierced through the rubble. He approached the light and saw there was a small leakage in the wall. He saw his escape from the collapsed building.

He hurriedly crawled back to where he left his little sister. She still crouched motionless under the kitchen table. Both hands covered her small dusty face, and her head brooded on her knees. She was crying.

“Come, Salwa. I’ve found the way out! We must get out before they hit the building again!” Yekia touched her shoulder gently and held her face on his palms. “Don’t be afraid, I’ll protect you with my life. Come now, follow me!” He grabbed her shoulder when he heard her screaming.

“Are you hurt?” He examined his sister carefully. It shocked him to find an open wound at her right shoulder. He smell blood. Sharp debris had smashed through it. Immediately, he torn his shirt and made a bandage around the wound. Salwa bite her lips to avoid another scream. She knew it would upset her brother.

“Come now, follow me. Just look ahead! No matter what you see, keep on going!”

“Where is mother? We can’t leave her?” Salwa said worrying her mother.

Yekia froze for a moment. How could she tell her that their beloved mother had died? On his first attempt to find his mother, he found her mother soaking in blood near the front door. Her body was maimed and wounded severely by the blast and fire. Her hair and flesh got severely burnt. He could not stand the horror he saw. He could not hug her…not even touch her… not in such terrible condition. He cried loudly and almost lost his mind. He wailed in agony and despair. The fire did not touch her smooth hands. He could see she was carrying three tomatoes and some slices of bread in one small bag. Slowly, he took the bag and tried to find some available rugs to cover her shattered body. It was a horror for him.

“Don’t worry about her, Sis! We’ll be seeing her in heaven. Allah is with her now.” He moved forward as he dried his tears away. The two carefully crawled toward the light.

***

“Allahuakbar, George I found one survivor here!” Digging through the debris, Aziz screamed to his colleague. He pulled a teenage out of the rumble. He bled severely from his wounds. His eyes closed as he was saying “thirsty”. Marry run to help. Her body covered in dirt and blood. He gave mineral water to the boy.

“Drink, slowly! That’s good. You’re gonna be Ok.” She examined his wounds carefully and provided the first aid help.

“He got internal bleeding on his chest, broken ribs, and bruises all over.” She said bitterly. “Aziz put him on the ambulance. I think there are still a few spaces to accommodate him.

Marry sighed heavily looking around her. Her spirit was broken by the massive agony she eye witnessed. Her legs felt so weak. She dropped to the ground and sobbed heavily. She could still see heavy aerial bombardment continued and heard fierce gunfire as Israeli ground troops moved into the more dense-populated areas of the strip. Zeitoun, where she and her team were assigned now, was only one neighboring of Gaza City. The Red Cross personnel were denied access by the Israeli army to the area for four days after the houses were shelled. By the time her team got permission, the army told them to leave the ambulances around two kilometers from the houses. The houses they passed had Israeli soldiers standing on the roofs, ready to fire even when the target was a civilian. She saw death bodies under the debris, on the streets lying unattended. She witnessed infants lied in agony at their mothers’ death bodies, crying for help. Not even a heart of the Israeli soldiers stirred by the sight. They just watched them to die. Already, two teenage, one elderly, and two children miraculously saved under the shattered buildings.

“How could they let them die like that?” Marry whispered. Tears were still glistening on her blue eyes. “How could they prevent us from evacuating the deaths and rescuing the survivors? How could they see children laying weakly, waiting to die besides their mothers’ dead bodies? Is it the world we live in now?”

“It is a sad reality. It’s the crazy wars.” George shrugged his shoulders in confusion. He sat down near her, trying to console her broken spirit.

“F***, the war! It’s children dying here! I don’t care about Hamas or Israel! This is just wrong. Children cannot live this way under constant fear and hatred. I am not a religious person. But I know deep down God… any God… Islam, Christian, Buddhist, Hindu, or Jewish will not command His followers to kill innocents brutally. Look around… it’s a huge killing field!” Marry burst in anger. Her fists clenched and her breathing was heavy. “What is the use of this stupid war? What has the world had done? Are they not human?”

“Shhhsssss… Get hold of yourself Marry! It’s no use…the best thing we can do is saving lives as much as we are capable of. Don’t put another burden on your shoulder!” George cuddled her in his arms like a father soothing his upset daughter. He wiped the tears away and put her face on his palms. “Be brave! There’s still much work, we have not all day. By dawn, we must go back to Al-Wafa Hospital.

They moved sweeping from one house to another…looking for any survivors. They urged each other to avoid main roads outside the city, and to look carefully where they drove. "Try not to pass a police station even if it was already bombed. Do not pass by a place the Israeli army has threatened to bomb. Avoid passing close to a mosque. Otherwise, you’ll kill in vain." The three had worked round the clock. So far, there was not much they could do except evacuating the most possible survivors to be saved…leaving the rest who had slight hope. They could hear screaming and crying underneath the rubble and debris, but with limited resources, equipment, and facility, they could not dig any further. Not to mention, the Israeli still launched their air aids with their warplanes and heavy artilleries. Hardly any place in the whole Strip has been spared shelling and air strikes. Some areas seemed to have been hit simply because a Hamas policeman walked nearby, or some militants were detected at a street corner by the Israeli forces. The high-explosive attack that follows could be devastating, taking out not only targeted people but a house or some passers-by. The three had to be very careful in any movement they made. Their three ambulances now only left two. They were not enough to evacuate all victims.

Approaching dawn, George made a signal to return to their post immediately. Aziz pulled one last child from the debris. He was too weak to speak. Hunger had weakened him. May be he’s been underneath that debris for more than two days without food or water. Death bodies were all around him.

“How is he?” Marry asked.

“He lost his whole family. He’s the only one left alive. His mother protected him in her arms so that the boy survived. Only some minor bruises and scars. He’s just too hunger and dehydrated.” Aziz said.

“What’s his name?”

“Amir.”

“Well…Amir, we will take care you now. You will eat soon. Aziz, I’ll carry this boy.” With one swing, the boy landed on her embrace. His eyes blinked but they dropped afterwards. Marry could sense his fear and confusion. She caressed his damp black hair and kissed him on the forehead.

“Guys, let’s go! Time is up!” George yelled from a far.

***

“Yekia, where are we going? I’m scared.” Salwa tugged Yekia’s hands in fear.

“Far away from the building… it’s not safe there. Here, we get some rest under that shelter.” He led his sister to a small house that still stood nearby. He took a slice of bread and one tomato from the small bag…”Eat”, he said.

“Are we going to heaven to meet mother?” She asked while chewing her bread lavishly. “Perhaps, Father, Grandpa, Grandma await us there too.” Her bright eyes looked up to meet Yekia’s.

“Is heaven a safe place to stay? I always have nightmares when I sleep. I fear our house will be hit and we all died. The hum of planes and the gunfire always wake me in the night. I hate it.”

“Mother said it’s a better place for us. We will not feel fear and pain in there. There’s only joys and happiness. There is not warplanes and gunfire.” Yekia said in a whisper. He put his arms around her. His mind travelled far away from his body. He saw his old days living with their parents in small apartment block. Fear was their constant company. He saw a man shot to death when he went to school…blood dipping heavily from his shattered head. He saw his father dragged on the street and beaten to death like animal. He suffered hunger and thirst when the warplanes attacked the city. He saw many awful things in his life. He would do anything to erase those painful memories from his head.

“Then, I want to go to heaven soon! I can play without fear. I can eat anything I want.” She smiled sheepishly. A red color had reached her cheek. The food had given her strength. Yekia ate the leftover bread and one rotten tomato. They tasted awful but he had to eat.

“Come, Salwa! We must get going!” Yekia stood her up and led the way. They walked for hours passing the ruins of houses. They met Israeli soldiers on their way but they seemed ignore them at all. Some terrorized them by pointing their guns at them before an order was thundered aloud.

“Leave the two alone. We have enough troubles with civilians’ causalities. No need to add one stupid additional rasp action. They will not make it anyway”

They left them alone in the street. Yekia was thankful because they let them go. He was so worried about his sister’s health. Her wound needed immediate care. The bandage was now dripped with blood, and she’s getting weaker by the hour. He feared she would lose more blood before he could reach the hospital. The hospital was the only object on his mind now. He had to bring his sister there.

“Yekia, my shoulder burnt! It hurt!” Salwa screamed in agony. Her eyes were wide open and her face went white. Yekia caught her before she collapsed. Her body was burning hot on his back. “Hang it there, Salwa! We will make it! Allah, help me!”

***

“I have no regret coming here!” Marry whispered.

“I know you won’t! You have such gentle heart underneath. You will not be able to desert these people even if a gun was pointed at your head!” George smiled. He admired her for her courage and tenderness.

“Is Aziz Ok, back there?”

“Yeah, just call him over the cell. Malik slept. It seemed the drug had already its effect on him. Poor Malik, his legs must be amputated to save his life.” George said in deep concern. His smile disappeared and replaced by sorrow. “We will reach Al- Wafa by dawn!”

“I’ve heard they hit another Red Cross truck, killing its drivers. Two press members were shot to death. The war is going crazy. They have no respect for international laws at all.” Marry shrieked in anger.

“There is no law in war, Marry. We have seen it. It’s just non sense. Sadly, no one could drag these war crimes into trial. It’s all politically bullshit! Marry saw his eyes glared with hidden anger. She held put her hands on his free hand.

A cell phone rang.

“Aziz, what’s wrong?” She called

“Another airaid! They keep dropping shells and shrapnel. The ambulance cannot stand another blast. May Allah help us all…Just be careful!” The phone was hung up. Within minutes they heard jet fighters flew low and dropping more bombs over Gaza strip.

“I hope this time they see the Red Cross mark on the ambulance.” George mumbled in an audible voice, trying hard to focus his driving to avoid uninvited attack.

“Look at that white smoke emanating from the attack. Jesus…they blew the city with white phosperous shells.” Marry shook her head in disbelief. “George, we must move fast! I think they don’t care at all whether we were humanitarian workers or just civilians!”

“You’re right! Inform Aziz to move fast too.” George commanded. “What the heck….? Why Aziz stop?”

“Pull over George!” Marry cried.

George abruptly held the brake. Both were thrown forward and hit the dashboard. Marry hurriedly ran to Aziz.

“God damn it, Aziz. You could have get us all killed! What do you think you’re doing?” Thundered marry.

“I’m so sorry. I cannot let them die!” Aziz answered. His eyes wandered far behind them. Instantly, Marry saw two black small figures from the dust. At first, she thought they were Israeli soldiers chasing their tails. As the figures got close, she could see two children were weakly walking towards them. Struck with disbelief, she run towards them but George caught her arms.

“Wait…! Israeli soldiers are close on their tails. We must not take risk!” George whispered in her ears.

“They’re just kids! I don’t care whether they shot me! I’ll go for them!” She pulled his hands away and run before George could stop her.

“Aziz, wait here!”

“We’re from the Red Cross. Just let us take the children with me. The little girl seemed in bad shape! She needed medical attention fast!” Marry yelled to the soldiers who now marched towards the scene. Slowly, she approached the two children who stood motionless in the middle. She could see the little girl was so weak…she suffered lost of blood. She lifted her in her embrace. She smell the blood and the burnt. The boy next to her was either in a good shape. He was in a shock. “George takes care of the boy!” She said.

“Are we in heaven now, Yekia?” Marry heard her soft whispering. She saw her opening her eyes for a moment, and then they were closed. Dried blood mixed with dust covered her small beautiful face. She saw her smiling gently as if she was just taking a nap. Marry gasped for breath. She never saw a face with such serenity. Her tears rolled down to her cheeks. She felt a fresh blood dripping from her hands. She looked them up and she saw a bullet hole from the little girl’s back. Red blood gushed from the wound.

“Nooooooo…….!” The boy screamed like a wounded bull. Before George could stop him, he rushed forward to meet the murderers.